This is dedicated to my dear friends. I love you all. I wouldn't get through each day without
you. I hope you know who you all are. If you don't, then I'll just have to try harder to make
sure you know. I love you and thank you for all you do. Thanks for always being there.
Life is not fair. Never was, never will be. Some people get all they want, others get nothing.
There is no rhyme or reason to life. Things can going fine and suddenly everything gets taken
from you. There will always be someone that doesn't like you. They will do anything to make
your life miserable. Then you have the people you just can't please. Nothing you do will ever
be good enough for them. You could cure every illness on earth, end hunger and homelessness
and bring about world peace. Still won't make them happy. That's just the normal everyday
stuff you deal with in life. There is so much more you will have to deal with.
People you love will die. Nothing you can do about it. It will break your heart and leave a huge
hole in your life that only they can fill. Time will ease the pain but it never fully goes away. You
just can't replace people. Things can be replaced, but people are special and each one is special.
You will also lose friends. You may just drift apart. Or worse, they hurt and betray you. And that
is a special pain that hurts like nothing else. You will be tempted to put up walls or turn away from
others. But you can't. When you do that, you miss out on meeting wonderful people. Don't let a
few idiots block you from joy. Friends make this life bearable. They make us laugh, dry our tears
and pick us up when we fall. Or they drag us kicking and screaming from the bed back into the
world. They share our joy and our pain as we share theirs. A handful of good friends is the greatest
treasure a person can have. They sit up with you until three in the morning when your heart has
been broken. They challenge you to become better and try new things. They make you see
yourself the way they see you, not as you see yourself. They call you on your hang-ups and hold
you firmly when all you want to do is shut down or run. Friends make your life worth living. They
are the laughter in the middle of the pain, the safe harbor in the storm, the kind word when all you
hear are insults and lies. They are the warm hugs and shoulder to lean on. And they are the slap
across your face or the kick in the ass you need when you don't know you need it.
We all come to bad patches in our lives. Those times when everything seems to be going wrong.
When you don't know if you will make it to tomorrow of if you even want to. There are times
when we just are not strong enough to bear it alone. We will try but the load will be too much.
And we will do our best to hide it from everyone. But its is so good to have friends that just know
you well enough to know something is wrong. They know your "I'm fine" means "I need someone
right now". They can see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice or tell it in the way you type. Because
true friends don't even have to see you to know something is wrong. They just know. When they
are not around you feel that loss deeply. So hold those friends close and never let them doubt that
you care for them. Fight to keep them in your life. Because without them, life is empty.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
My Thoughts
Fill my heart with compassion,
a love that sees needs unspoken.
Fill my soul with wisdom,
a knowledge that understands secret hurts.
Allow me to know humbleness,
to live without selfish pride.
Allow me to see beyond myself
to reach out a hand to others.
Let me see with my heart,
not just my eyes.
Let me love without conditions,
allowing others to shine and soar.
a love that sees needs unspoken.
Fill my soul with wisdom,
a knowledge that understands secret hurts.
Allow me to know humbleness,
to live without selfish pride.
Allow me to see beyond myself
to reach out a hand to others.
Let me see with my heart,
not just my eyes.
Let me love without conditions,
allowing others to shine and soar.
The Sage's Letter
Thieves steal into my thoughts
Reaching into my mind to plunder
Not knowing the emotions I feel,
Not caring or understanding the harm they do.
Things better left unsaid
Are tossed around like treasure,
Nuggets of truth and wisdom.
Do they not understand that it
Is merely fool's gold that they admire?
The true wisdom is left ignored
As they tear my thoughts apart.
They trespass in my brain,
Not knowing the way to the inner vault
Where all my wisdom and truth lies.
They think I am a sage
That every word I speak is wisdom.
Do they not know that I am a mere mortal?
I know no more wisdom than they do.
I am tired and my bones ache
With the burden of truth.
I did not ask to be the bearer of light,
In truth, I have fought against it.
Let the seek elsewhere
For my truth has run out.
The sage chooses to leave this empty temple.
Reaching into my mind to plunder
Not knowing the emotions I feel,
Not caring or understanding the harm they do.
Things better left unsaid
Are tossed around like treasure,
Nuggets of truth and wisdom.
Do they not understand that it
Is merely fool's gold that they admire?
The true wisdom is left ignored
As they tear my thoughts apart.
They trespass in my brain,
Not knowing the way to the inner vault
Where all my wisdom and truth lies.
They think I am a sage
That every word I speak is wisdom.
Do they not know that I am a mere mortal?
I know no more wisdom than they do.
I am tired and my bones ache
With the burden of truth.
I did not ask to be the bearer of light,
In truth, I have fought against it.
Let the seek elsewhere
For my truth has run out.
The sage chooses to leave this empty temple.
Me
You sit beside me
and do not know me.
Few people are allowed glimpses
behind the mask I wear for the world.
Pain made me put up walls,
choosing my friends carefully.
There is a door in the wall
through only a few may pass.
I have many sides to me
and most are never seen by others.
Child and adult,
teacher and student.
Dignified and goofy,
sage and comedian.
There are many more
sides to my soul.
And they appear in different levels
at different degrees of intensity.
My soul has chosen its companions
and then shut the door.
Few are trusted with my secret selves
and so it shall remain.
and do not know me.
Few people are allowed glimpses
behind the mask I wear for the world.
Pain made me put up walls,
choosing my friends carefully.
There is a door in the wall
through only a few may pass.
I have many sides to me
and most are never seen by others.
Child and adult,
teacher and student.
Dignified and goofy,
sage and comedian.
There are many more
sides to my soul.
And they appear in different levels
at different degrees of intensity.
My soul has chosen its companions
and then shut the door.
Few are trusted with my secret selves
and so it shall remain.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
If and Should Have Beens- Chapter 14
***Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of the Merlin characters. I am merely borrowing
them. This story is for entertainment purposes only, not for profit***
"But Father,why are you being so stubborn about this?" Aurora exclaimed. "So Merlin
is a servant. That doesn't change the man he is. He is kind,caring, funny and lovable. He has
a noble heart and a brave soul. And Grace loves him. You should know that you can't
control who your heart falls in love with. You married beneath you. King Arthur fell in love
with a maid. Are you telling me its alright to fall in love with someone below your station as
long as you are a man. But not if you are a woman. Because that is what it seems like you are
telling me. And that is just wrong."
"Aurora, that is not what I am saying," answered King Thomas as he rubbed his forehead.
"I am saying that Arthur may not accept the idea of his personal servant falling in love with a
princess. Just because he fell in love with his Gwen doesn't mean he is ready to let everyone
marry whoever they wish. From what I hear he generally follows tradition. And letting his
servant marry a princess is not following tradition. I would be happy to welcome Merlin
into our family. He seems like a good man. I am not the one you need to convince."
"And you accept the other matches?" Aurora questioned. "You are fine with me and
Gwaine. And with Charlotte and Percival? No objections? No problems? Even if we all
go to live in Camelot?"
"Of course I don't," King Thomas chuckled. "You know I like Gwaine and was sorry
to see him leave the first time he was here. And Percival is a good knight and fine man.
Even if he is quiet and a bit taller than Charlotte. As long as the care for each other, they
will work that out. And it may be lonely without you here but you can always visit. I could
use some quiet around here anyway. Raising three girl makes for a noisy castle."
"Father!" Aurora exclaimed. "We are not the reason this castle is noisy and you know
it! You'll miss us with only William and your knights for company. I cannot believe you!"
"Peace, daughter," King Thomas laughed. "I was teasing you. I will miss that fire in
you. I have just rediscovered my lovely daughter to lose her. I hope Gwaine know the
handful he is getting in you. And the loyal, loving woman. He better treat you right."
"He does and he will, "Aurora answered as she took her father's hand and smiled at
him. "And I know how lucky I am to have won his heart. That we were given a second
chance at love. We were not ready before. We both had to grow and become the people
we are now. He is my perfect match. Just as Percival is for Charlotte and Merlin for Grace.
All of your daughters will be happy. How many kings can say that?"
"Not many, "King Thomas said with a smile. "All I want is for you and your sisters to be
happy. You could marry a peddler and I wouldn't object as long as he made you happy.
If Arthur agrees to the matches, I will be a very happy man indeed. I hope you can convince
him, my dear daughter. That will be your true challenge I fear. Now sit and keep your old
father company while I still have you here."
Aurora smiled and moved to sit on the arm of his chair. She kissed his cheek and laid
her head briefly on his shoulder. It hit her in that moment that soon she would leave the
only home she had ever known. Sadness filled her but it was chased away by the knowledge
that her place would be with Gwaine. Her home was where he was. A smile came to her
lips as she listened to her father. She would miss him but they would visit often. Her new
life called to her. She smiled and turned her attention to her father with visions of life with
Gwaine dancing in her head. Soon, if Arthur didn't object to Merlin marrying Grace. She
sent a prayer to heaven that he would see reason. Then she turned her full attention to her
father.
them. This story is for entertainment purposes only, not for profit***
"But Father,why are you being so stubborn about this?" Aurora exclaimed. "So Merlin
is a servant. That doesn't change the man he is. He is kind,caring, funny and lovable. He has
a noble heart and a brave soul. And Grace loves him. You should know that you can't
control who your heart falls in love with. You married beneath you. King Arthur fell in love
with a maid. Are you telling me its alright to fall in love with someone below your station as
long as you are a man. But not if you are a woman. Because that is what it seems like you are
telling me. And that is just wrong."
"Aurora, that is not what I am saying," answered King Thomas as he rubbed his forehead.
"I am saying that Arthur may not accept the idea of his personal servant falling in love with a
princess. Just because he fell in love with his Gwen doesn't mean he is ready to let everyone
marry whoever they wish. From what I hear he generally follows tradition. And letting his
servant marry a princess is not following tradition. I would be happy to welcome Merlin
into our family. He seems like a good man. I am not the one you need to convince."
"And you accept the other matches?" Aurora questioned. "You are fine with me and
Gwaine. And with Charlotte and Percival? No objections? No problems? Even if we all
go to live in Camelot?"
"Of course I don't," King Thomas chuckled. "You know I like Gwaine and was sorry
to see him leave the first time he was here. And Percival is a good knight and fine man.
Even if he is quiet and a bit taller than Charlotte. As long as the care for each other, they
will work that out. And it may be lonely without you here but you can always visit. I could
use some quiet around here anyway. Raising three girl makes for a noisy castle."
"Father!" Aurora exclaimed. "We are not the reason this castle is noisy and you know
it! You'll miss us with only William and your knights for company. I cannot believe you!"
"Peace, daughter," King Thomas laughed. "I was teasing you. I will miss that fire in
you. I have just rediscovered my lovely daughter to lose her. I hope Gwaine know the
handful he is getting in you. And the loyal, loving woman. He better treat you right."
"He does and he will, "Aurora answered as she took her father's hand and smiled at
him. "And I know how lucky I am to have won his heart. That we were given a second
chance at love. We were not ready before. We both had to grow and become the people
we are now. He is my perfect match. Just as Percival is for Charlotte and Merlin for Grace.
All of your daughters will be happy. How many kings can say that?"
"Not many, "King Thomas said with a smile. "All I want is for you and your sisters to be
happy. You could marry a peddler and I wouldn't object as long as he made you happy.
If Arthur agrees to the matches, I will be a very happy man indeed. I hope you can convince
him, my dear daughter. That will be your true challenge I fear. Now sit and keep your old
father company while I still have you here."
Aurora smiled and moved to sit on the arm of his chair. She kissed his cheek and laid
her head briefly on his shoulder. It hit her in that moment that soon she would leave the
only home she had ever known. Sadness filled her but it was chased away by the knowledge
that her place would be with Gwaine. Her home was where he was. A smile came to her
lips as she listened to her father. She would miss him but they would visit often. Her new
life called to her. She smiled and turned her attention to her father with visions of life with
Gwaine dancing in her head. Soon, if Arthur didn't object to Merlin marrying Grace. She
sent a prayer to heaven that he would see reason. Then she turned her full attention to her
father.
Masks and Walls
Warning: This is not one of my happy stories. Proceed with caution. Dark and
depressing.
I hold my mask before my true face, never letting others see me. My walls are tall and
strong, built to withstand the hardest assault. Life has taught me to be wary and always on
guard. If I let the mask slip or let someone past the walls, they will hurt me. Trust no one
and never show a weakness. They will use your weaknesses against you to cause you pain.
Hide the hurt, hide your true self far away. Be charming, sweet, funny, cute. Be what they
want you to be, not who you are. Be everything for everyone, pay no mind to your own
feelings and wants. Depend on no one for anything. You take care of you, never ask anyone
for anything. Never expect good things to happen to you. Then you won't be disappointed.
Sound jaded to you? Sound bitter or cold? Maybe so. But this life has shown me no
kindness, only heartbreak and misery. Life is seldom fair and only to others. Never to me.
Only for the briefest moments have I known happiness or joy. Then life jerks them away
to laugh at my pain and sorrow. I have known love briefly, only to have my heart ripped
out of my chest and shattered into pieces each time. Even my own parents didn't want me.
A life of being shuttled between family members has left many scars, some inflicted by
others and some by myself. Whenever someone starts to get close, I stare at them. They
are my reminders, my visible memories. And they lead to the scars no one can see, hidden
deep in my heart and soul. My heart and soul are tattered and torn. The darkness in me
leaks out of the holes. I have tried too many times to fix myself and rid myself of the dark
hiding in me. I am tired of trying. There is only so much pain a person can take and I reached
that long ago. I have stopped fighting and built my walls and choose my mask. I sealed my
true self deep within, only to be released when I am alone. Not even those that think they
love me have seen my true self. No one could ever love the monster I have become. My
heart is cold and my soul full of darkness.
The only clue to my true self are my eyes in my unguarded moments. Haunted, cold,
sorrowful in the moments I forget to put kindness in them. They betray me but I have
become a master at explaining what others see in their depths. That's why you will see
very few pictures of me. The camera sees and captures my eyes. Snapshots that are clues
to the real me. I want as few of them as possible. I can't remember the last time I took a
picture. It must be at least a year ago. And that is fine with me. I have no wish to leave my
mark on this world. When I leave this tragic world, let me go without leaving a lasting mark.
Does this shock you? Sadden you? Make you feel pity or anger? Don't waste your tears
or emotions on me. I am not worthy of your thoughts are love. I am hollow and empty inside.
I am a shell, a ghost, a sham. I paste a smile on my face every day. I act my part very well.
You walk by me and never know I am a fraud. My smile and words hide so much. I say the
right things and act as other think I should, drifting through life. If anyone tries to see under the
mask or break through the walls, I run or push them away. I shut down and wait for them to
go away. And they do leave. Too much trouble and pain to love me. The cost to them is too
great, causing them to walk away. I am left alone in a sea of people that think they know me.
I am left with the pain I have become used to, the pain I am addicted to. The pain I am used to.
The pain I know how to live with. It is my constant companion, my only friend.
So walk on by and leave me here. Don't try to help or save me. It cannot be done. I am
unfixable. I am fine with it. Go away and leave me. Help someone that can be saved. I am
a lost cause. Don't fight a battle you can't win. I shall play my part and wear my mask. Leave
me to act my role in life. I am very good at it. Go and leave me to the shadows and darkness.
depressing.
I hold my mask before my true face, never letting others see me. My walls are tall and
strong, built to withstand the hardest assault. Life has taught me to be wary and always on
guard. If I let the mask slip or let someone past the walls, they will hurt me. Trust no one
and never show a weakness. They will use your weaknesses against you to cause you pain.
Hide the hurt, hide your true self far away. Be charming, sweet, funny, cute. Be what they
want you to be, not who you are. Be everything for everyone, pay no mind to your own
feelings and wants. Depend on no one for anything. You take care of you, never ask anyone
for anything. Never expect good things to happen to you. Then you won't be disappointed.
Sound jaded to you? Sound bitter or cold? Maybe so. But this life has shown me no
kindness, only heartbreak and misery. Life is seldom fair and only to others. Never to me.
Only for the briefest moments have I known happiness or joy. Then life jerks them away
to laugh at my pain and sorrow. I have known love briefly, only to have my heart ripped
out of my chest and shattered into pieces each time. Even my own parents didn't want me.
A life of being shuttled between family members has left many scars, some inflicted by
others and some by myself. Whenever someone starts to get close, I stare at them. They
are my reminders, my visible memories. And they lead to the scars no one can see, hidden
deep in my heart and soul. My heart and soul are tattered and torn. The darkness in me
leaks out of the holes. I have tried too many times to fix myself and rid myself of the dark
hiding in me. I am tired of trying. There is only so much pain a person can take and I reached
that long ago. I have stopped fighting and built my walls and choose my mask. I sealed my
true self deep within, only to be released when I am alone. Not even those that think they
love me have seen my true self. No one could ever love the monster I have become. My
heart is cold and my soul full of darkness.
The only clue to my true self are my eyes in my unguarded moments. Haunted, cold,
sorrowful in the moments I forget to put kindness in them. They betray me but I have
become a master at explaining what others see in their depths. That's why you will see
very few pictures of me. The camera sees and captures my eyes. Snapshots that are clues
to the real me. I want as few of them as possible. I can't remember the last time I took a
picture. It must be at least a year ago. And that is fine with me. I have no wish to leave my
mark on this world. When I leave this tragic world, let me go without leaving a lasting mark.
Does this shock you? Sadden you? Make you feel pity or anger? Don't waste your tears
or emotions on me. I am not worthy of your thoughts are love. I am hollow and empty inside.
I am a shell, a ghost, a sham. I paste a smile on my face every day. I act my part very well.
You walk by me and never know I am a fraud. My smile and words hide so much. I say the
right things and act as other think I should, drifting through life. If anyone tries to see under the
mask or break through the walls, I run or push them away. I shut down and wait for them to
go away. And they do leave. Too much trouble and pain to love me. The cost to them is too
great, causing them to walk away. I am left alone in a sea of people that think they know me.
I am left with the pain I have become used to, the pain I am addicted to. The pain I am used to.
The pain I know how to live with. It is my constant companion, my only friend.
So walk on by and leave me here. Don't try to help or save me. It cannot be done. I am
unfixable. I am fine with it. Go away and leave me. Help someone that can be saved. I am
a lost cause. Don't fight a battle you can't win. I shall play my part and wear my mask. Leave
me to act my role in life. I am very good at it. Go and leave me to the shadows and darkness.
Monday, May 14, 2012
The Dragon's Debt
The light from the torch cast eerie shadows on the walls of the tunnel as the young woman
made her way to the cavern beyond. Her long red hair glistened like liquid fire as she steadfastly
placed one foot in front of the other.How Morgan wished someone else could have performed
the troublesome task. She knew her duty to her grandfather and the truth was that this task fell
to her. She would and could do this for her grandfather. He lay dying and all hope for him to
live rested on her shoulders. Morgan would do this or die trying.
Her blue eyes filled up with tears as she clutched the dragon's scale in her hand. The scale
represented the debt that the dragon living in the cave owed her grandfather.When he was
scarcely older than she was now, he had helped this dragon. The dragon gave one of her scales
to him as a token and told him to send for her if ever he had need. Her grandfather had
cherished the scale and kept it in a pouch he wore around his neck.Now he lay dying and
his grandfather carried his greatest possession to call in a dragon's debt.
She hesitated at the mouth of the cavern. This was a dragon she was going to ask a favor
of. Suppose the dragon refused? She was no dragon slayer.The dragon could laugh at her.
the dragon could eat her. No she wouldn't eat her. The dragon had never eaten anyone. No,
that wasn't true. She had eaten a few people but they were horrible and cruel people that had
terrorized her village. So the dragon only ate people that should be eaten. The dragon was
peaceful and only wanted to live here in this cavern. She protected the land when it was in
danger and only asked to be allowed to hunt in peace. What were a few head of livestock
in exchange for a dragon's protection? The village didn't know of the dragon eating innocent
people, but who knew what she did in the privacy of her own lair? Maybe she lured people
there and then ate them. the thought made her stomach twist in fear. But her grandfather
knew the dragon and had only told Morgan nice things about her. The dragon couldn't have
fooled her grandfather. He was too wise and would have known if the dragon tried to mislead
him in any way.
Still, Morgan hesitated. The dragon did not like people coming to her secluded home
unannounced. She left the people alone and expected to be left alone in return. The young
woman slowly walked into the cavern and gazed around in amazement. Instead of the gold
and jewels most dragons prized, the cavern was filled with books. And in the middle of the
cavern, a blue dragon lay on the biggest pillow she had ever seen. On a pedestal before the
dragon was a book and a fairy was turning the pages. The dragon turned her head toward
Morgan and gazed at her with large golden eyes. Curiosity was in those warm golden eyes
and Morgan approached the dragon with the scale in her upturned palm. She knew she had
nothing to fear from this wonderful creature.
Suddenly, she couldn't go any further. It felt as if a wall of air was blocking her way.She
tried to press on but she could not. The dragon shook her head as if remembering something
and waved her claw in the air. Morgan almost fell flat on her face as the air she had been
pushing on vanished. She managed to catch herself and made her way to the dragon. Morgan
stood before her, holding the precious scale in her hands. Her knees trembled as the dragon's
warm eyes swept over her. Morgan felt herself weighed and measured in that penetrating
gaze. She bowed her head, humbled by the knowledge and wisdom radiating from the dragon.
"So, Anthony has finally called in his favor," the dragon said in a soothing voice. "But why
would he send a wet-behind-the-ears child to do so? Is my friend in trouble or harmed? He
knows I would never refuse a request from him. I do so love his visits and he has not come
in a very long time. Tell me child, who are you and why should I not eat you for invading
my home?"
"I am not a child and my name is Morgan," Morgan answered in a firm voice. "If you are
such a good friend of my grandfather, you would know who I am. He lies in a deep sleep,
placed there by an evil sorceress named Selene. His only hope is a potion made from one
of your teeth. Please help him, you are the only one that can save him. Once he is well, I
shall go after Selene and make her pay for what she has done to him."
"I see you have your grandfather's spirit," the dragon laughed. "Of course I know who
you are. The last two decades, your grandfather has spoken of you often. He is very proud
of you. But you don't have to worry about Selene. I have already killed her. I owed her a
blood debt and when i heard about your grandfather, I knew the time had come for her to die.
"How can a dragon owe a blood debt? That is the silliest thing I have ever heard," Morgan
Morgan exclaimed. "Dragons are immortal and very hard to kill. A person would have to be a
fool to try to tangle with one of you. I don't see how you can be killed, but to owe a blood debt
to Selene, she had to kill someone very close to your heart."
"Your grandfather has never told you how we met," the dragon said softly. Morgan shook
her head. "Sit down on those pillows and I will tell you the story. It is a hard tale to tell but you
must know before we continue."
Morgan sat on an overstuffed deep purple pillow and made herself comfortable. She leaned
forward, eager to hear the dragon's tale. Her grandfather rarely spoke of the time when he had
found the dragon. All he had ever told her was that he had saved the dragon from a fate worse
than death. She often wondered what that could be, but she did not press him for answers.
"Many years ago, when your grandfather was just twenty, he came across a sight few
people ever see. A dragon was taking her young daughter on her first hunting trip. My mother
was a purple dragon. All the shades of purple were in her scales. I thought she was the most
beautiful dragon I had ever seen. My father was a red dragon and he seemed to glow when
the light hit his scales in a certain way. My mother was different. Peace rolled off of her in
waves. All of my fears were calmed with one look in her deep blue eyes. I was just a few
years old, old enough for my first hunting trip but my mother couldn't bring herself to teach
me to kill. Finally, my father demanded she teach me or he would. So she took me from the
safety of our cave and led me to a wide meadow where many deer were foraging. She told
me to never pick a mother or a young deer. They still had a lot of living to do. I choose a big
male that looked as if he had seen many years. As i swooped down on him as my mother had
taught me, I heard her scream."
A tear rolled down the dragon's face. Morgan's heart went out to her. She had also lost her
mother at an early age and the pain was still in her heart. It had lessened over the years but it
still caught her unawares at odd moments. Her father had given her to her grandfather to care
for. Her grandfather had wrapped her in love and guided her as she grew into adulthood with
understanding and patience that her father did not have.
"I still her scream in my dreams sometimes,: the dragon whispered. "It was a scream of
unimaginable pain and terror. I whirled around to help her and saw a woman with long black
hair standing before my mother. Her arms were raised over her head and she was chanting
strange things. Lightning ran down her arms as she extended them toward my mother. It
surrounded her and she screamed as it ran through her body. She writhed on the ground as
the woman laughed and pulled a huge sword out of a scabbard at her side. She raised it high
and plunged it into my mother's heart. My mother screamed one last time and then her body
lay still on the ground. I was frozen in mid-air, grief and terror warring in my heart. Slowly, I
flew down behind some trees and waited for the woman to do the same to me. Life didn't
matter to me anymore. A part of me had died with my mother.I didn't want to live without
her and didn't know if I could."
"A hand appeared out of nowhere and rested on my face. I stared into eyes just as blue
as my mother's. But those were in a human face. I gathered myself to run but his eyes stopped
me. I didn't sense any evil from him, whereas the woman had radiated evil. He beckoned me
to follow him and I did. Somehow, I knew he was a good man that meant me no harm. He led
me to another cave high in the mountains. Your grandfather read everything he could find on
dragons to help me, but I think he learned most of it by trial and error. He taught me to hunt,
read, talk and looked after me until I could live on my own. For the first few years, he seldom
left my side. He taught me that all humans are not alike. There are good humans and bad
humans, just like with dragons. When I could live on my own, he brought me to this cave. I
help to protect your village and the villagers leave me alone. There are times I go away to
find others of my kind and new books, but I always come back. This is my home."
"But how did you learn who Selene was?" Morgan asked. "And why did she kill your
mother? What purpose did that serve?"
"Dragons are not immortal, but we do live a very long time," the dragon replied. "Your
grandfather had run into Selene once before, when she was killing a red dragon. He did not
know it at the time, but that dragon was my father. He followed her to try and see what she
was doing. He knew he could not stop her but hoped one day he could. When she attacked
my mother,he saw me on the other side of the meadow and thought he could save me while
she was distracted. He made his way across the meadow and led me to safety. In books he
read, he learned that wizards once drew power by killing other wizards and dragons. Selene
wanted to live forever and also have great power, so she learned the places where a dragon's
scales could be pierced and proceeded to kill as many as she could. Your grandfather studied
and became a powerful wizard so one day he could stop her. Selene snuck up on him and
placed a powerful spell on him that can only be broken by a potion made from the tooth of
a dragon. She thought the only way to get a dragon's tooth is to kill a dragon. But if the
tooth is freely given, the potion works better. She didn't know that he had once saved a
dragon that would give up a tooth gratefully. When I heard what had happened, I went
hunting. I snuck up on her just as she did to my mother and ate her. Then, I hurried back
to wait for you. I couldn't go into the village without raising a panic and maybe getting
killed, so I waited for you to come to me. I am glad you finally made it. Now take this
piece of tooth and go save your grandfather. Tell him he owes me a visit when he recovers
and take my scale back to him. Come with him the next time he visits and I will tell you
some good tales about him when he was your age."
The dragon handed Morgan a piece of one of her teeth wrapped in cloth and gave her
a gentle push toward the cave entrance. Morgan turned back and waved to the dragon.
Then she hurried on her way back to the village. She had asked a favor of a dragon and
lived to tell the tale. Her feet carried her home to brew the potion for her grandfather.
Then, when he was well, they owed the dragon a visit.
made her way to the cavern beyond. Her long red hair glistened like liquid fire as she steadfastly
placed one foot in front of the other.How Morgan wished someone else could have performed
the troublesome task. She knew her duty to her grandfather and the truth was that this task fell
to her. She would and could do this for her grandfather. He lay dying and all hope for him to
live rested on her shoulders. Morgan would do this or die trying.
Her blue eyes filled up with tears as she clutched the dragon's scale in her hand. The scale
represented the debt that the dragon living in the cave owed her grandfather.When he was
scarcely older than she was now, he had helped this dragon. The dragon gave one of her scales
to him as a token and told him to send for her if ever he had need. Her grandfather had
cherished the scale and kept it in a pouch he wore around his neck.Now he lay dying and
his grandfather carried his greatest possession to call in a dragon's debt.
She hesitated at the mouth of the cavern. This was a dragon she was going to ask a favor
of. Suppose the dragon refused? She was no dragon slayer.The dragon could laugh at her.
the dragon could eat her. No she wouldn't eat her. The dragon had never eaten anyone. No,
that wasn't true. She had eaten a few people but they were horrible and cruel people that had
terrorized her village. So the dragon only ate people that should be eaten. The dragon was
peaceful and only wanted to live here in this cavern. She protected the land when it was in
danger and only asked to be allowed to hunt in peace. What were a few head of livestock
in exchange for a dragon's protection? The village didn't know of the dragon eating innocent
people, but who knew what she did in the privacy of her own lair? Maybe she lured people
there and then ate them. the thought made her stomach twist in fear. But her grandfather
knew the dragon and had only told Morgan nice things about her. The dragon couldn't have
fooled her grandfather. He was too wise and would have known if the dragon tried to mislead
him in any way.
Still, Morgan hesitated. The dragon did not like people coming to her secluded home
unannounced. She left the people alone and expected to be left alone in return. The young
woman slowly walked into the cavern and gazed around in amazement. Instead of the gold
and jewels most dragons prized, the cavern was filled with books. And in the middle of the
cavern, a blue dragon lay on the biggest pillow she had ever seen. On a pedestal before the
dragon was a book and a fairy was turning the pages. The dragon turned her head toward
Morgan and gazed at her with large golden eyes. Curiosity was in those warm golden eyes
and Morgan approached the dragon with the scale in her upturned palm. She knew she had
nothing to fear from this wonderful creature.
Suddenly, she couldn't go any further. It felt as if a wall of air was blocking her way.She
tried to press on but she could not. The dragon shook her head as if remembering something
and waved her claw in the air. Morgan almost fell flat on her face as the air she had been
pushing on vanished. She managed to catch herself and made her way to the dragon. Morgan
stood before her, holding the precious scale in her hands. Her knees trembled as the dragon's
warm eyes swept over her. Morgan felt herself weighed and measured in that penetrating
gaze. She bowed her head, humbled by the knowledge and wisdom radiating from the dragon.
"So, Anthony has finally called in his favor," the dragon said in a soothing voice. "But why
would he send a wet-behind-the-ears child to do so? Is my friend in trouble or harmed? He
knows I would never refuse a request from him. I do so love his visits and he has not come
in a very long time. Tell me child, who are you and why should I not eat you for invading
my home?"
"I am not a child and my name is Morgan," Morgan answered in a firm voice. "If you are
such a good friend of my grandfather, you would know who I am. He lies in a deep sleep,
placed there by an evil sorceress named Selene. His only hope is a potion made from one
of your teeth. Please help him, you are the only one that can save him. Once he is well, I
shall go after Selene and make her pay for what she has done to him."
"I see you have your grandfather's spirit," the dragon laughed. "Of course I know who
you are. The last two decades, your grandfather has spoken of you often. He is very proud
of you. But you don't have to worry about Selene. I have already killed her. I owed her a
blood debt and when i heard about your grandfather, I knew the time had come for her to die.
"How can a dragon owe a blood debt? That is the silliest thing I have ever heard," Morgan
Morgan exclaimed. "Dragons are immortal and very hard to kill. A person would have to be a
fool to try to tangle with one of you. I don't see how you can be killed, but to owe a blood debt
to Selene, she had to kill someone very close to your heart."
"Your grandfather has never told you how we met," the dragon said softly. Morgan shook
her head. "Sit down on those pillows and I will tell you the story. It is a hard tale to tell but you
must know before we continue."
Morgan sat on an overstuffed deep purple pillow and made herself comfortable. She leaned
forward, eager to hear the dragon's tale. Her grandfather rarely spoke of the time when he had
found the dragon. All he had ever told her was that he had saved the dragon from a fate worse
than death. She often wondered what that could be, but she did not press him for answers.
"Many years ago, when your grandfather was just twenty, he came across a sight few
people ever see. A dragon was taking her young daughter on her first hunting trip. My mother
was a purple dragon. All the shades of purple were in her scales. I thought she was the most
beautiful dragon I had ever seen. My father was a red dragon and he seemed to glow when
the light hit his scales in a certain way. My mother was different. Peace rolled off of her in
waves. All of my fears were calmed with one look in her deep blue eyes. I was just a few
years old, old enough for my first hunting trip but my mother couldn't bring herself to teach
me to kill. Finally, my father demanded she teach me or he would. So she took me from the
safety of our cave and led me to a wide meadow where many deer were foraging. She told
me to never pick a mother or a young deer. They still had a lot of living to do. I choose a big
male that looked as if he had seen many years. As i swooped down on him as my mother had
taught me, I heard her scream."
A tear rolled down the dragon's face. Morgan's heart went out to her. She had also lost her
mother at an early age and the pain was still in her heart. It had lessened over the years but it
still caught her unawares at odd moments. Her father had given her to her grandfather to care
for. Her grandfather had wrapped her in love and guided her as she grew into adulthood with
understanding and patience that her father did not have.
"I still her scream in my dreams sometimes,: the dragon whispered. "It was a scream of
unimaginable pain and terror. I whirled around to help her and saw a woman with long black
hair standing before my mother. Her arms were raised over her head and she was chanting
strange things. Lightning ran down her arms as she extended them toward my mother. It
surrounded her and she screamed as it ran through her body. She writhed on the ground as
the woman laughed and pulled a huge sword out of a scabbard at her side. She raised it high
and plunged it into my mother's heart. My mother screamed one last time and then her body
lay still on the ground. I was frozen in mid-air, grief and terror warring in my heart. Slowly, I
flew down behind some trees and waited for the woman to do the same to me. Life didn't
matter to me anymore. A part of me had died with my mother.I didn't want to live without
her and didn't know if I could."
"A hand appeared out of nowhere and rested on my face. I stared into eyes just as blue
as my mother's. But those were in a human face. I gathered myself to run but his eyes stopped
me. I didn't sense any evil from him, whereas the woman had radiated evil. He beckoned me
to follow him and I did. Somehow, I knew he was a good man that meant me no harm. He led
me to another cave high in the mountains. Your grandfather read everything he could find on
dragons to help me, but I think he learned most of it by trial and error. He taught me to hunt,
read, talk and looked after me until I could live on my own. For the first few years, he seldom
left my side. He taught me that all humans are not alike. There are good humans and bad
humans, just like with dragons. When I could live on my own, he brought me to this cave. I
help to protect your village and the villagers leave me alone. There are times I go away to
find others of my kind and new books, but I always come back. This is my home."
"But how did you learn who Selene was?" Morgan asked. "And why did she kill your
mother? What purpose did that serve?"
"Dragons are not immortal, but we do live a very long time," the dragon replied. "Your
grandfather had run into Selene once before, when she was killing a red dragon. He did not
know it at the time, but that dragon was my father. He followed her to try and see what she
was doing. He knew he could not stop her but hoped one day he could. When she attacked
my mother,he saw me on the other side of the meadow and thought he could save me while
she was distracted. He made his way across the meadow and led me to safety. In books he
read, he learned that wizards once drew power by killing other wizards and dragons. Selene
wanted to live forever and also have great power, so she learned the places where a dragon's
scales could be pierced and proceeded to kill as many as she could. Your grandfather studied
and became a powerful wizard so one day he could stop her. Selene snuck up on him and
placed a powerful spell on him that can only be broken by a potion made from the tooth of
a dragon. She thought the only way to get a dragon's tooth is to kill a dragon. But if the
tooth is freely given, the potion works better. She didn't know that he had once saved a
dragon that would give up a tooth gratefully. When I heard what had happened, I went
hunting. I snuck up on her just as she did to my mother and ate her. Then, I hurried back
to wait for you. I couldn't go into the village without raising a panic and maybe getting
killed, so I waited for you to come to me. I am glad you finally made it. Now take this
piece of tooth and go save your grandfather. Tell him he owes me a visit when he recovers
and take my scale back to him. Come with him the next time he visits and I will tell you
some good tales about him when he was your age."
The dragon handed Morgan a piece of one of her teeth wrapped in cloth and gave her
a gentle push toward the cave entrance. Morgan turned back and waved to the dragon.
Then she hurried on her way back to the village. She had asked a favor of a dragon and
lived to tell the tale. Her feet carried her home to brew the potion for her grandfather.
Then, when he was well, they owed the dragon a visit.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Mother's Day
I have two mothers. Or I should say I have a mother and a mom. My mother is the woman
that gave birth to me and then chose a man over me and my brother. My mom is my
grandmother who took me in and raised me from the time I was four. They are both lost
to me. My mother because it was her choice and my mom because dementia has taken
her from me. I feel the loss the most on this day that celebrates mothers.
My mom is a wonderful person but I so seldom see the woman I have known in the
woman she now is. So strong, so fierce, now fragile and weak. Her iron will has left
her, leaving a shell of the person she was. Her speech was stolen by her stroke, leaving
her to babble nonsense words. We can make out maybe one in five. I miss the strangest
things. I miss the love she had for her roses that lined our split rail fence in the front yard.
I was the one that mowed the yard. I used to hate having to make sure they were all
fixed so I didn't accidentally mow over a branch. Those flowers were her pride and joy.
Heaven help you if anything happened to them. But I would love to hear her yelling at
me about them now. Or to see her face as she tended to them. I miss her fried chicken
and banana pudding. I even miss her going into a huge craft store and staying for hours.
I miss her laugh, her talking endlessly on the phone, sharing a bed with her and falling
asleep to the TV. So many little things and they are mostly gone now. But I still have
her here where I can go and see her. I can still put my arms around her and tell her that
I love her so very much. I give her my smiles and love, never showing her the tears or
pain. Just as she has always done for me.
My mother.What to say about her? She is a vague memory of a scared and trapped
woman. A woman so sure she could never find another person to love her that she
stayed with my stepfather. He beat her and broke her spirit, binding her to him with
violence and lies. I have forgiven them both but I can never fully understand. I do
understand her somewhat because he branded my soul with the same lies and
pain he showed her. When you are told you are nothing, worthless, useless and a
mistake enough times, you start to believe it. It worms its way into your heart and soul.
Years later, I still wake up sometimes with his voice in my mind. You can never fully
fix pain like that. It is written on your heart and woven through your soul. She still
deals with that every day. Knowing the effect it had on me, I can't hate her. I pity her.
And knowing that she does not have her children to turn to, I weep for her. She is
bound in unbreakable chains that she sent me and my brother far away from. In my
heart, I hope she sent us away to save us. But I don't know where she is now to try to
save her. I doubt she would go if I tried. But I would like to see her face again but there
are things that cannot be. She wishes to be lost to me and I shall honor that wish.
By now, I thought I would be a mother. When I was younger I could see my children
so clearly. Three of them, two boys and a girl. Twins run in the family but skipped
my mother's generation so I just knew I would be the one to have twins. The oldest
twin a little boy with brown hair like me. The younger twin a little girl with the red hair
I had always wanted.And the youngest a little boy with golden blond hair. But now
that dream is fading. At 37, my chance at having children is quickly vanishing. I look
at my cousin's three beautiful and wonderful children and I wish I could be her. Her
oldest son just turned 16. Seems like it was just yesterday that he was born. With
each year I feel I will never getting to hold my own children in my arms. I will never
look into their trusting eyes and know I am the center of their world. Never hear
their first words, watch their first steps, send them off to school, watch them leave
me behind. I will also never change dirty diapers, lose days of sleep, worry constantly
about them, hear them tell me no or have them break my heart in any of a hundred
different ways. I guess it just isn't meant to be for me and this is the day I feel it
the most. Any other time, I can deal with it. But not today. Today is the day I want
to take my children to see their grandma. And to be able to see the mom I have always
known smile at me. But that is not to be. So please forgive me if I cry today. I'll be
fine tomorrow.
So be good to your moms and mothers today. Show them how much you love them.
And enjoy this day all you moms. You don't get enough credit for all you do.
that gave birth to me and then chose a man over me and my brother. My mom is my
grandmother who took me in and raised me from the time I was four. They are both lost
to me. My mother because it was her choice and my mom because dementia has taken
her from me. I feel the loss the most on this day that celebrates mothers.
My mom is a wonderful person but I so seldom see the woman I have known in the
woman she now is. So strong, so fierce, now fragile and weak. Her iron will has left
her, leaving a shell of the person she was. Her speech was stolen by her stroke, leaving
her to babble nonsense words. We can make out maybe one in five. I miss the strangest
things. I miss the love she had for her roses that lined our split rail fence in the front yard.
I was the one that mowed the yard. I used to hate having to make sure they were all
fixed so I didn't accidentally mow over a branch. Those flowers were her pride and joy.
Heaven help you if anything happened to them. But I would love to hear her yelling at
me about them now. Or to see her face as she tended to them. I miss her fried chicken
and banana pudding. I even miss her going into a huge craft store and staying for hours.
I miss her laugh, her talking endlessly on the phone, sharing a bed with her and falling
asleep to the TV. So many little things and they are mostly gone now. But I still have
her here where I can go and see her. I can still put my arms around her and tell her that
I love her so very much. I give her my smiles and love, never showing her the tears or
pain. Just as she has always done for me.
My mother.What to say about her? She is a vague memory of a scared and trapped
woman. A woman so sure she could never find another person to love her that she
stayed with my stepfather. He beat her and broke her spirit, binding her to him with
violence and lies. I have forgiven them both but I can never fully understand. I do
understand her somewhat because he branded my soul with the same lies and
pain he showed her. When you are told you are nothing, worthless, useless and a
mistake enough times, you start to believe it. It worms its way into your heart and soul.
Years later, I still wake up sometimes with his voice in my mind. You can never fully
fix pain like that. It is written on your heart and woven through your soul. She still
deals with that every day. Knowing the effect it had on me, I can't hate her. I pity her.
And knowing that she does not have her children to turn to, I weep for her. She is
bound in unbreakable chains that she sent me and my brother far away from. In my
heart, I hope she sent us away to save us. But I don't know where she is now to try to
save her. I doubt she would go if I tried. But I would like to see her face again but there
are things that cannot be. She wishes to be lost to me and I shall honor that wish.
By now, I thought I would be a mother. When I was younger I could see my children
so clearly. Three of them, two boys and a girl. Twins run in the family but skipped
my mother's generation so I just knew I would be the one to have twins. The oldest
twin a little boy with brown hair like me. The younger twin a little girl with the red hair
I had always wanted.And the youngest a little boy with golden blond hair. But now
that dream is fading. At 37, my chance at having children is quickly vanishing. I look
at my cousin's three beautiful and wonderful children and I wish I could be her. Her
oldest son just turned 16. Seems like it was just yesterday that he was born. With
each year I feel I will never getting to hold my own children in my arms. I will never
look into their trusting eyes and know I am the center of their world. Never hear
their first words, watch their first steps, send them off to school, watch them leave
me behind. I will also never change dirty diapers, lose days of sleep, worry constantly
about them, hear them tell me no or have them break my heart in any of a hundred
different ways. I guess it just isn't meant to be for me and this is the day I feel it
the most. Any other time, I can deal with it. But not today. Today is the day I want
to take my children to see their grandma. And to be able to see the mom I have always
known smile at me. But that is not to be. So please forgive me if I cry today. I'll be
fine tomorrow.
So be good to your moms and mothers today. Show them how much you love them.
And enjoy this day all you moms. You don't get enough credit for all you do.
Friday, May 11, 2012
If and Should Have Beens- Chapter 13
***Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of the Merlin characters. I am just borrowing
them for this story. This story is not for profit. It is for entertainment purposes only***
The door to Arthur's chambers flew open and Merlin backpedaled into the room,
followed closely by Arthur. Arthur's face was flushed and his blue eyes flashed with anger.
Keeping his eyes on Arthur, Merlin didn't see the chair behind and went sprawling on the
floor. Arthur rolled his eyes as Merlin scrambled to his feet. His eyes never left Arthur.
"Do you mind telling me what all that in the dinning hall was?" Arthur asked, trying to
keep his anger under control. "You were supposed to be keeping Sir Samuel company
but it looked to me as if you spent most of your time chatting with Grace. Meanwhile,
Leon spent the whole banquet talking to Prince William. I thought he was interested in
Charlotte but she was across the table with Percival. They seemed to be getting along
just fine. But Leon should have been paying attention to Grace, not you. Care to explain
all of this to me, Merlin?"
"Um, Leon and Grace don't have that much in common?" Merlin answered. "He
was talking to Prince William about training methods and Grace grew bored. So she
started talking to me and her grandfather. I couldn't be rude to her."
"Why not?" Arthur shouted. "Leon certainly was. A Knight should never ignore a
lady like he did. He should have tried harder. Talked about the weather or something
like that. I will deal with him in the morning. And as for you, a servant has no place
chatting with a lady like that. She seemed to laugh a lot. Did you cast a spell on her?"
"What are you talking about?" Merlin replied. "How could I cast a spell on Grace?
I don't have magic. You would have known if I did."
"Does all of Camelot think I'm a stupid and blind prat or is it just you and my Knights?"
Arthur questioned, his eyes narrowing. "I've known you have magic for years. Almost
from the time we met. I'd have to be a clotpole not to. All the things that just happen to
fall and knock out our enemies. All the fires and other stuff that allow us to escape. I
know your little secret, Merlin. Just admit you cast a spell on Grace."
"Fine!" Merlin shouted. "I have magic. Happy? But I did not cast a spell on Grace.
Is it so hard to believe she might actually like me? A poor servant? We like each other
very much. I think I may even love her and I hope she feels the same way. But I guess
you wouldn't understand that, would you, King Arthur? You can fall in love with a maid
but I couldn't ever get a princess to fall in love with me. Because there are special rules
for you and the rest of us can just live with it or else!"
"Careful, now, Merlin" Arthur replied in a cold voice. "You are about to say things
you really should not say. Maybe you should think about what you are doing."
"No!" Merlin yelled. "I'm sick of playing nice and you always getting your way.
I do everything for you. I clean your room, polish your armour, clean your stables
and for what? Just to have you deny me the one person I could be happy with? No,
Arthur. Not this time. You are going to listen to me for a change."
Merlin eyes flashed golden and the chair he had tripped over flew across the room.
It hit the back of Arthur's legs, forcing him to sit in it. He tried to rise and could not. He
opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Arthur glared at Merlin.
"Calm down, Arthur," Merlin said calmly as he stood in front of Arthur. "I am going
to explain everything to you. Then I will set you free. I just need you to be quiet while I
do so. Since you know I have magic. This is the easiest way. Nod if you understand."
Arthur nodded, anger radiating from his body. He shot Merlin a look that could kill.
Merlin smiled grimly, knowing Arthur just might kill him when he set him free.
"Now then, to begin with, Aurora and Gwaine love each other. Leon loves Beth the
barmaid back home. Percival and Charlotte are smitten with each other. I love Grace
and I think she loves me. Grace and Sir Samuel have magic. King Thomas just wants his
daughters to be happy. He married below his station so Aurora and I both think that he
won't care I am your servant. If Grace and I marry, we shall return with you to Camelot,
if you let us. Aurora and Gwaine will also. I'm not sure about Percival and Charlotte, but
I think they will also. You won't lose your Knights or your lowly servant. All will continue
as before, except we will all be happily married and you will have made your ties to King
Thomas stronger by three marriages. I think that sums it up."
Stepping back Merlin released Arthur from his spell. They stared at each other for
several minutes. Arthur shook his head and sighed. Then he began to laugh. Merlin looked
at him in shock. Had his spell somehow damaged Arthur's brain? He should be yelling at
him, not laughing. Merlin didn't know if he should be relieved or worried.
"Nicely done, Merlin," Arthur laughed as he wiped tears from his eyes. "I wondered
how far I could push you before you finally had enough. I have been trying for years to
get you to do something like that. You just took everything I dished out. I think you
summed everything up nicely. I know about Beth and I was pretty sure Charlotte and
Percival would make a good match. I could see as soon as we arrived here that Gwaine
had lost his heart to Aurora. I just never thought you and Grace would hit it off. Nice
match there if you are sure King Thomas will approve. I could use another magic user
at Camelot. Well say something, Merlin. Don't just stand there with your mouth open."
"You knew all of this and didn't say anything?" Merlin asked. "You knew I had magic
and never said anything. I've spent these last few years trying to hide who I am from you
and you knew all along? Why didn't you say anything?"
"Well at the start, my father would have had you put to death," Arthur replied. "And
you are the one that chose not to tell me. I keep waiting for you to say something but you
never did. You just keep saving my life and protecting me. You never took any credit
and never once told me you had magic. Each time you used magic to save me, I thought
that would be the time you would say something. But nothing, not one word. I can
understand why you didn't tell me at first. I was a huge prat and you thought I would tell
my father. Fear of death has a way of making people keep secrets. But after all we have
been through together and you still couldn't tell me? To be honest, that hurts, Merlin. I
felt we had built up some trust between us. I've told you things I have never told anyone
before. I thought we had become friends. Guess I was wrong."
"I don't know what to say," Merlin answered, still in shock. "I should have told you
but it never seemed like the right time. I thought you still hated magic and will banish me
or have me burnt at the stake. Every time you attitude toward magic changed for the better,
something would happen to change it back. Morgana didn't help. I know she hurt you a lot.
Your father's death, the thing between Lance and Gwen, Morgana trying to take over the
throne again. Always something happening. Never the right time to tell you. And I thought
you mostly saw me as a servant, not a friend. I hoped we were growing closer but I figured
you just told me all that stuff because you had to tell someone. And you knew I wouldn't
tell anyone. So, where do we go from here? Am I banished from Camelot?"
"Of course not, Merlin," Arthur said with a laugh. "If I wanted to banish you I could
have a long time ago. When we go back to Camelot, I will lift the ban on magic. Well, good
magic at least. The harmful, dark kind like Morgana practices will still not be tolerated.
But you and Gaius have shown me that all magic is not evil. It is about time we start to right
the wrongs my father has done. I will need some people to help guide me on the subject of
magic and its uses. I was hoping you and Gaius could do that. How about it, Merlin? Will
you be my magic advisor? I could use a good friend by my side. And you wouldn't have
to clean my room any more."
"Your advisor on magic?" Merlin questioned. "Are you sure I would be a good advisor?
You call me idiot all the time. I don't think you want an idiot as your advisor. Gaius can do
it. I'll just mess it up. Better if I just stay your servant."
"Merlin, you are more than just a servant," Arthur replied. "You are my friend. And
you already advise me in a hundred different ways every day. Every time I have wanted
to give up, you are there. You encourage me and never let me give up. I would not be
King Arthur if it wasn't for you. I would have slunk away and Morgana would be sitting
on the throne of Camelot. All of Camelot owes you a debt and when we get back, they
will learn how much they owe you. Now stop being such an idiot and say you'll do it."
"I'll do it if that's what you really want," Merlin said. Arthur nodded. "And I'm glad you
think of me as your friend. I feel the same about you. And I am sorry about not telling you
about my magic sooner. It would have saved us a lot of trouble."
"Yes, you should have," Arthur replied with a grin. "Now, should we let my Knights
know I'm on to them or let them sweat it out a bit more?" Merlin grinned in reply. "Yeah.
Let's just keep this to ourselves for now. They need to learn its not nice to try to fool
their king. I do have my ways of finding out things. Like who Gwaine's parents are and
that he was already of noble blood when he first came to Camelot. A good king does his
research. I know everything I need to know about all of my Knights and everyone else
close to me. I learned my lesson with Morgana and my uncle. I'm still learning but if you
and Gwen are right, one day I will be a great king. Now, do you think you and Grace
will be happy together? Are you sure it is love?"
"I think so," Merlin answered. "I can see myself growing old with her. She makes me
happy. I've never felt like this before about anyone. I want to spend as much time as I can
with her. I would do anything to make her laugh. And when I'm not with her, I can't stop
thinking about her. But I've only know her for a short time. How can I be sure?"
"Well, I am pretty sure you love her," Arthur replied. "You look like me when I talk
about Gwen. Are you sure her father won't be upset that you are not of noble blood?"
"Aurora seems to think so," Merlin said. "But I'm not so sure, to tell the truth. She is
a princess. She could have anyone she wanted. I'm just a common servant. How could
ever hope to make her happy? Its a fool's dream."
"Someone once told me that people should marry for love," Arthur replied. "Not for
status or political gain. I thought that was sound advice. And you're not just a common
servant anymore. You are the magic advisor to the King of Camelot. And its time for
you to start earn your keep. We have much to discuss before I meet with King Thomas
in the morning. Don't worry, Merlin. We shall win you your lady fair. But faint hearts
never win fair maidens. Tell me who loves whom and how much the Lady Aurora knows.
Somehow, I sense her hand behind all of this. If she is on your side, I think we will have
an easier time of it. She is very wise for one so young and her father puts much value on
what she thinks. He listens carefully to what she tells him. she is a good person to have
on your side. Bring that jug of wine over here. We have a long night a head of us."
Arthur and Merlin talked long into the night. They weighed the pros and cons of each
possible match, coming up with solid proposals to set before King Thomas. They later
stumbled off to bed, each tired but filled with hope for the next day.
them for this story. This story is not for profit. It is for entertainment purposes only***
The door to Arthur's chambers flew open and Merlin backpedaled into the room,
followed closely by Arthur. Arthur's face was flushed and his blue eyes flashed with anger.
Keeping his eyes on Arthur, Merlin didn't see the chair behind and went sprawling on the
floor. Arthur rolled his eyes as Merlin scrambled to his feet. His eyes never left Arthur.
"Do you mind telling me what all that in the dinning hall was?" Arthur asked, trying to
keep his anger under control. "You were supposed to be keeping Sir Samuel company
but it looked to me as if you spent most of your time chatting with Grace. Meanwhile,
Leon spent the whole banquet talking to Prince William. I thought he was interested in
Charlotte but she was across the table with Percival. They seemed to be getting along
just fine. But Leon should have been paying attention to Grace, not you. Care to explain
all of this to me, Merlin?"
"Um, Leon and Grace don't have that much in common?" Merlin answered. "He
was talking to Prince William about training methods and Grace grew bored. So she
started talking to me and her grandfather. I couldn't be rude to her."
"Why not?" Arthur shouted. "Leon certainly was. A Knight should never ignore a
lady like he did. He should have tried harder. Talked about the weather or something
like that. I will deal with him in the morning. And as for you, a servant has no place
chatting with a lady like that. She seemed to laugh a lot. Did you cast a spell on her?"
"What are you talking about?" Merlin replied. "How could I cast a spell on Grace?
I don't have magic. You would have known if I did."
"Does all of Camelot think I'm a stupid and blind prat or is it just you and my Knights?"
Arthur questioned, his eyes narrowing. "I've known you have magic for years. Almost
from the time we met. I'd have to be a clotpole not to. All the things that just happen to
fall and knock out our enemies. All the fires and other stuff that allow us to escape. I
know your little secret, Merlin. Just admit you cast a spell on Grace."
"Fine!" Merlin shouted. "I have magic. Happy? But I did not cast a spell on Grace.
Is it so hard to believe she might actually like me? A poor servant? We like each other
very much. I think I may even love her and I hope she feels the same way. But I guess
you wouldn't understand that, would you, King Arthur? You can fall in love with a maid
but I couldn't ever get a princess to fall in love with me. Because there are special rules
for you and the rest of us can just live with it or else!"
"Careful, now, Merlin" Arthur replied in a cold voice. "You are about to say things
you really should not say. Maybe you should think about what you are doing."
"No!" Merlin yelled. "I'm sick of playing nice and you always getting your way.
I do everything for you. I clean your room, polish your armour, clean your stables
and for what? Just to have you deny me the one person I could be happy with? No,
Arthur. Not this time. You are going to listen to me for a change."
Merlin eyes flashed golden and the chair he had tripped over flew across the room.
It hit the back of Arthur's legs, forcing him to sit in it. He tried to rise and could not. He
opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Arthur glared at Merlin.
"Calm down, Arthur," Merlin said calmly as he stood in front of Arthur. "I am going
to explain everything to you. Then I will set you free. I just need you to be quiet while I
do so. Since you know I have magic. This is the easiest way. Nod if you understand."
Arthur nodded, anger radiating from his body. He shot Merlin a look that could kill.
Merlin smiled grimly, knowing Arthur just might kill him when he set him free.
"Now then, to begin with, Aurora and Gwaine love each other. Leon loves Beth the
barmaid back home. Percival and Charlotte are smitten with each other. I love Grace
and I think she loves me. Grace and Sir Samuel have magic. King Thomas just wants his
daughters to be happy. He married below his station so Aurora and I both think that he
won't care I am your servant. If Grace and I marry, we shall return with you to Camelot,
if you let us. Aurora and Gwaine will also. I'm not sure about Percival and Charlotte, but
I think they will also. You won't lose your Knights or your lowly servant. All will continue
as before, except we will all be happily married and you will have made your ties to King
Thomas stronger by three marriages. I think that sums it up."
Stepping back Merlin released Arthur from his spell. They stared at each other for
several minutes. Arthur shook his head and sighed. Then he began to laugh. Merlin looked
at him in shock. Had his spell somehow damaged Arthur's brain? He should be yelling at
him, not laughing. Merlin didn't know if he should be relieved or worried.
"Nicely done, Merlin," Arthur laughed as he wiped tears from his eyes. "I wondered
how far I could push you before you finally had enough. I have been trying for years to
get you to do something like that. You just took everything I dished out. I think you
summed everything up nicely. I know about Beth and I was pretty sure Charlotte and
Percival would make a good match. I could see as soon as we arrived here that Gwaine
had lost his heart to Aurora. I just never thought you and Grace would hit it off. Nice
match there if you are sure King Thomas will approve. I could use another magic user
at Camelot. Well say something, Merlin. Don't just stand there with your mouth open."
"You knew all of this and didn't say anything?" Merlin asked. "You knew I had magic
and never said anything. I've spent these last few years trying to hide who I am from you
and you knew all along? Why didn't you say anything?"
"Well at the start, my father would have had you put to death," Arthur replied. "And
you are the one that chose not to tell me. I keep waiting for you to say something but you
never did. You just keep saving my life and protecting me. You never took any credit
and never once told me you had magic. Each time you used magic to save me, I thought
that would be the time you would say something. But nothing, not one word. I can
understand why you didn't tell me at first. I was a huge prat and you thought I would tell
my father. Fear of death has a way of making people keep secrets. But after all we have
been through together and you still couldn't tell me? To be honest, that hurts, Merlin. I
felt we had built up some trust between us. I've told you things I have never told anyone
before. I thought we had become friends. Guess I was wrong."
"I don't know what to say," Merlin answered, still in shock. "I should have told you
but it never seemed like the right time. I thought you still hated magic and will banish me
or have me burnt at the stake. Every time you attitude toward magic changed for the better,
something would happen to change it back. Morgana didn't help. I know she hurt you a lot.
Your father's death, the thing between Lance and Gwen, Morgana trying to take over the
throne again. Always something happening. Never the right time to tell you. And I thought
you mostly saw me as a servant, not a friend. I hoped we were growing closer but I figured
you just told me all that stuff because you had to tell someone. And you knew I wouldn't
tell anyone. So, where do we go from here? Am I banished from Camelot?"
"Of course not, Merlin," Arthur said with a laugh. "If I wanted to banish you I could
have a long time ago. When we go back to Camelot, I will lift the ban on magic. Well, good
magic at least. The harmful, dark kind like Morgana practices will still not be tolerated.
But you and Gaius have shown me that all magic is not evil. It is about time we start to right
the wrongs my father has done. I will need some people to help guide me on the subject of
magic and its uses. I was hoping you and Gaius could do that. How about it, Merlin? Will
you be my magic advisor? I could use a good friend by my side. And you wouldn't have
to clean my room any more."
"Your advisor on magic?" Merlin questioned. "Are you sure I would be a good advisor?
You call me idiot all the time. I don't think you want an idiot as your advisor. Gaius can do
it. I'll just mess it up. Better if I just stay your servant."
"Merlin, you are more than just a servant," Arthur replied. "You are my friend. And
you already advise me in a hundred different ways every day. Every time I have wanted
to give up, you are there. You encourage me and never let me give up. I would not be
King Arthur if it wasn't for you. I would have slunk away and Morgana would be sitting
on the throne of Camelot. All of Camelot owes you a debt and when we get back, they
will learn how much they owe you. Now stop being such an idiot and say you'll do it."
"I'll do it if that's what you really want," Merlin said. Arthur nodded. "And I'm glad you
think of me as your friend. I feel the same about you. And I am sorry about not telling you
about my magic sooner. It would have saved us a lot of trouble."
"Yes, you should have," Arthur replied with a grin. "Now, should we let my Knights
know I'm on to them or let them sweat it out a bit more?" Merlin grinned in reply. "Yeah.
Let's just keep this to ourselves for now. They need to learn its not nice to try to fool
their king. I do have my ways of finding out things. Like who Gwaine's parents are and
that he was already of noble blood when he first came to Camelot. A good king does his
research. I know everything I need to know about all of my Knights and everyone else
close to me. I learned my lesson with Morgana and my uncle. I'm still learning but if you
and Gwen are right, one day I will be a great king. Now, do you think you and Grace
will be happy together? Are you sure it is love?"
"I think so," Merlin answered. "I can see myself growing old with her. She makes me
happy. I've never felt like this before about anyone. I want to spend as much time as I can
with her. I would do anything to make her laugh. And when I'm not with her, I can't stop
thinking about her. But I've only know her for a short time. How can I be sure?"
"Well, I am pretty sure you love her," Arthur replied. "You look like me when I talk
about Gwen. Are you sure her father won't be upset that you are not of noble blood?"
"Aurora seems to think so," Merlin said. "But I'm not so sure, to tell the truth. She is
a princess. She could have anyone she wanted. I'm just a common servant. How could
ever hope to make her happy? Its a fool's dream."
"Someone once told me that people should marry for love," Arthur replied. "Not for
status or political gain. I thought that was sound advice. And you're not just a common
servant anymore. You are the magic advisor to the King of Camelot. And its time for
you to start earn your keep. We have much to discuss before I meet with King Thomas
in the morning. Don't worry, Merlin. We shall win you your lady fair. But faint hearts
never win fair maidens. Tell me who loves whom and how much the Lady Aurora knows.
Somehow, I sense her hand behind all of this. If she is on your side, I think we will have
an easier time of it. She is very wise for one so young and her father puts much value on
what she thinks. He listens carefully to what she tells him. she is a good person to have
on your side. Bring that jug of wine over here. We have a long night a head of us."
Arthur and Merlin talked long into the night. They weighed the pros and cons of each
possible match, coming up with solid proposals to set before King Thomas. They later
stumbled off to bed, each tired but filled with hope for the next day.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
If and Should Have Beens- Chapter 12
***Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of the characters from Merlin. I am just
borrowing them. This story is for entertainment purposes only.***
Merlin followed Arthur into the banquet room. He tugged on his sleeves nervously.
His stomach rolled and he tried to calm his nerves. Hopefully, the banquet would go
smoothly but he feared things were not going the way Arthur wanted them to. He
knew Arthur would have a lot to say to him afterwards. And most of it wouldn't be
good. He hoped his head would still be on his shoulders tomorrow.
King Thomas sat at the head of a long wooden table.In the first place on his left
side sat Prince William. The first empty place on his right was clearly meant for Arthur.
Aurora sat in the spot next to the empty sit with Gwaine on her other side. Charlotte
sat beside him with Percival taking the spot next to her. On the other side of the table,
Leon sat beside Prince William. Grace sat next to him with an empty spot between her
and her grandfather. Sir Samuel motioned for Merlin to take the spot between them.
Merlin took his spot as Arthur took his place next to King Thomas. Grace gave Merlin
a small smile as he sat down. He smiled back at her and glanced at Arthur. Arthur sat
and gazed around the table before turning to talk to King Thomas. Merlin knew by the
look in his eyes that Arthur was not pleased. He shot a look across the table to Gwaine.
Gwaine smiled and gave a slight shrug. Aurora smiled at Merlin and shook her head
slightly, her eyes sparkling with laughter.
King Thomas rose and everyone came to their feet as he raised his goblet in a toast.
"To King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table," he said pleasantly as the others
raised their own goblets. "May their time here be pleasant and the renewal of the
friendship between our two kingdoms. May you all find what you are searching for."
"To friendship," everyone replied. Arthur raised his goblet again. "And hopefully,
here's to more than one wedding before we leave."
The others echoed his words with less enthusiasm. Everyone glanced around the
table, eyes locking for a second before darting to look at someone else. Arthur's
smile turned into a frown. Something was going on here. None of the couples he
thought had hit it off were sitting together. Maybe King Thomas wanted to give
them a chance to talk to other people. He would keep a close eye on his knights.
At least until he could figure out what was going on.
King Thomas kept Arthur quite busy as they ate, asking questions about Camelot,
Gaius, Gwen and a million other things. When King Thomas wasn't talking to him,
Aurora drew his attention by telling him amusing tales about her siblings and grandfather.
Arthur's head spun with all her stories and the king's questions. If he didn't know better,
he would think they were trying to keep him from noticing what was going on around
him. But he had sat through too many royal banquets to be distracted so easily. He
noted how Percival stared at Charlotte with a look of tenderness he had never seen
him wear before. He heard the soft sigh in her voice as Charlotte gazed into Percival's
eyes. Across the table, Leon smiled and chatted with Grace but spent the majority of his
time talking to Prince William. Grace meanwhile leaned towards Merlin with a look of
rapture on her face. Her lovely face glowed and her eyes danced as she laughed at yet
another of Merlin's jokes. As for Merlin, he divided his attention between King Samuel
and Grace. But Arthur thought he stared just a little too long into Grace's eyes. And that
goofy grin on Merlin's face taunted Arthur. Did Merlin think that Grace took him seriously
or found his little jokes funny? She was probably was just being polite. But that look in
her eyes told Arthur that he was wrong. He sensed trouble. Even if Grace and Merlin
were falling in love, there was no way that Arthur could allow it. Grace was a princess
and Merlin was his servant. It could never be.
Merlin looked at Arthur and could see what his king was thinking. His heart sank.
Why couldn't he and Grace share a life together? Arthur had found love with a maid in
his castle. He had even risked war by refusing to marry a princess because he loved
Gwen. It wasn't fair. Surely Arthur could see that.
Aurora caught the look that past between Arthur and Merlin. She drew Arthur's
attention away from Merlin with a tale of how she first learned to ride. She smiled to
herself. Little did Arthur know how much influence she now had with her father. Or
that she had been bending her father's ear about Merlin, Grace, Charlotte and
Percival. She didn't envy Merlin the tirade he was going to get from Arthur after this
meal. She could feel anger and confusion coming off of Arthur in waves. Maybe she
could get her grandfather to borrow Merlin for a few hours. Just to give Arthur time
to cool down. Aurora glanced at Arthur. Poor Merlin. He would be lucky if Arthur
managed not to drag him from the room. With a shake of her head she turned to
Gwaine. She was glad not to be in Merlin's shoes. Gwaine smiles at her and she
tried to enjoy the feast. But her heart was heavy for Merlin. If only the banquet
could go on forever. Then Merlin wouldn't have to suffer what was coming. But
life is seldom fair. She prayed Merlin would be strong enough to withstand Arthur's
rage. If not, he wasn't the man she thought he was.
borrowing them. This story is for entertainment purposes only.***
Merlin followed Arthur into the banquet room. He tugged on his sleeves nervously.
His stomach rolled and he tried to calm his nerves. Hopefully, the banquet would go
smoothly but he feared things were not going the way Arthur wanted them to. He
knew Arthur would have a lot to say to him afterwards. And most of it wouldn't be
good. He hoped his head would still be on his shoulders tomorrow.
King Thomas sat at the head of a long wooden table.In the first place on his left
side sat Prince William. The first empty place on his right was clearly meant for Arthur.
Aurora sat in the spot next to the empty sit with Gwaine on her other side. Charlotte
sat beside him with Percival taking the spot next to her. On the other side of the table,
Leon sat beside Prince William. Grace sat next to him with an empty spot between her
and her grandfather. Sir Samuel motioned for Merlin to take the spot between them.
Merlin took his spot as Arthur took his place next to King Thomas. Grace gave Merlin
a small smile as he sat down. He smiled back at her and glanced at Arthur. Arthur sat
and gazed around the table before turning to talk to King Thomas. Merlin knew by the
look in his eyes that Arthur was not pleased. He shot a look across the table to Gwaine.
Gwaine smiled and gave a slight shrug. Aurora smiled at Merlin and shook her head
slightly, her eyes sparkling with laughter.
King Thomas rose and everyone came to their feet as he raised his goblet in a toast.
"To King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table," he said pleasantly as the others
raised their own goblets. "May their time here be pleasant and the renewal of the
friendship between our two kingdoms. May you all find what you are searching for."
"To friendship," everyone replied. Arthur raised his goblet again. "And hopefully,
here's to more than one wedding before we leave."
The others echoed his words with less enthusiasm. Everyone glanced around the
table, eyes locking for a second before darting to look at someone else. Arthur's
smile turned into a frown. Something was going on here. None of the couples he
thought had hit it off were sitting together. Maybe King Thomas wanted to give
them a chance to talk to other people. He would keep a close eye on his knights.
At least until he could figure out what was going on.
King Thomas kept Arthur quite busy as they ate, asking questions about Camelot,
Gaius, Gwen and a million other things. When King Thomas wasn't talking to him,
Aurora drew his attention by telling him amusing tales about her siblings and grandfather.
Arthur's head spun with all her stories and the king's questions. If he didn't know better,
he would think they were trying to keep him from noticing what was going on around
him. But he had sat through too many royal banquets to be distracted so easily. He
noted how Percival stared at Charlotte with a look of tenderness he had never seen
him wear before. He heard the soft sigh in her voice as Charlotte gazed into Percival's
eyes. Across the table, Leon smiled and chatted with Grace but spent the majority of his
time talking to Prince William. Grace meanwhile leaned towards Merlin with a look of
rapture on her face. Her lovely face glowed and her eyes danced as she laughed at yet
another of Merlin's jokes. As for Merlin, he divided his attention between King Samuel
and Grace. But Arthur thought he stared just a little too long into Grace's eyes. And that
goofy grin on Merlin's face taunted Arthur. Did Merlin think that Grace took him seriously
or found his little jokes funny? She was probably was just being polite. But that look in
her eyes told Arthur that he was wrong. He sensed trouble. Even if Grace and Merlin
were falling in love, there was no way that Arthur could allow it. Grace was a princess
and Merlin was his servant. It could never be.
Merlin looked at Arthur and could see what his king was thinking. His heart sank.
Why couldn't he and Grace share a life together? Arthur had found love with a maid in
his castle. He had even risked war by refusing to marry a princess because he loved
Gwen. It wasn't fair. Surely Arthur could see that.
Aurora caught the look that past between Arthur and Merlin. She drew Arthur's
attention away from Merlin with a tale of how she first learned to ride. She smiled to
herself. Little did Arthur know how much influence she now had with her father. Or
that she had been bending her father's ear about Merlin, Grace, Charlotte and
Percival. She didn't envy Merlin the tirade he was going to get from Arthur after this
meal. She could feel anger and confusion coming off of Arthur in waves. Maybe she
could get her grandfather to borrow Merlin for a few hours. Just to give Arthur time
to cool down. Aurora glanced at Arthur. Poor Merlin. He would be lucky if Arthur
managed not to drag him from the room. With a shake of her head she turned to
Gwaine. She was glad not to be in Merlin's shoes. Gwaine smiles at her and she
tried to enjoy the feast. But her heart was heavy for Merlin. If only the banquet
could go on forever. Then Merlin wouldn't have to suffer what was coming. But
life is seldom fair. She prayed Merlin would be strong enough to withstand Arthur's
rage. If not, he wasn't the man she thought he was.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
My Dad
When I talk about my Dad, I am speaking of the man that raised me. He is actually
my maternal grandfather but he rescued me when I was four. He adopted me when
I was six. This is the man my heart calls Dad. I don't remember the man that gave
me half of my DNA. He left when I was two and I never saw him after that. I don't
even have a picture of him. The man my mother married after that was not a nice guy.
I'll just leave that part of my past alone for it has no place here. Let us just say that
I am so grateful my dad got me and my younger brother away from him. Two years
of abuse was enough for a lifetime.
Dad isn't famous and didn't have a fancy job. He has worked hard for most his life.
He raised five children and four of them are some of the finest people you could ever
meet. My mother, well she made some bad choices and she took her own path. He
stepped in when two of his grandchildren were in danger. He took those two children
and raised them as his own. He showed them love and took care of them as best he
could. He worked hard to provide for them. My dad was a steady rock and fortress
when we needed shelter.
My dad showed me the meaning of hard work and standing by your word. He is my
rock. From him, I got a love of animals and the need to take care of people. From
his quiet example, I learned to do my best at everything I do. Family comes first
for him and I have seen him drop everything to help one of his own. My dad is a
quiet man but he loves to tell stories about how things were when he was younger.
He knows every shortcut in town and is almost always early for everything. He loves
to laugh and his blue eyes sparkle when he teases in his gentle way. He is slow to anger
but when he has reached his limit, watch out. His anger usually doesn't last long and
I have never know him to hold a grudge.
He has supported me when I need him and lets me go my own road. I know he is
always there for me. He may not say I love you with words very often, but his actions
speak of his love. He is the one I talk to when I hurt or need advice. No matter how
old I get, he will always be my Daddy. I love him more than mere words can say.
Without him, my world would be empty and cold. He is my compass and guiding
star. He restored my hope in men when I was scared and confused. He earned my
trust with his love and showed me that I could trust people. Dad showed me that life
is not for the weak and that sometimes hope is all you have. Even though life may
break my heart, my dad has shown me how to mend it. He has a quiet dignity that
speaks louder than words. I love him for all he has taught me with his life. I can only
hope that I can be a blessing to others, as he has been to me.
my maternal grandfather but he rescued me when I was four. He adopted me when
I was six. This is the man my heart calls Dad. I don't remember the man that gave
me half of my DNA. He left when I was two and I never saw him after that. I don't
even have a picture of him. The man my mother married after that was not a nice guy.
I'll just leave that part of my past alone for it has no place here. Let us just say that
I am so grateful my dad got me and my younger brother away from him. Two years
of abuse was enough for a lifetime.
Dad isn't famous and didn't have a fancy job. He has worked hard for most his life.
He raised five children and four of them are some of the finest people you could ever
meet. My mother, well she made some bad choices and she took her own path. He
stepped in when two of his grandchildren were in danger. He took those two children
and raised them as his own. He showed them love and took care of them as best he
could. He worked hard to provide for them. My dad was a steady rock and fortress
when we needed shelter.
My dad showed me the meaning of hard work and standing by your word. He is my
rock. From him, I got a love of animals and the need to take care of people. From
his quiet example, I learned to do my best at everything I do. Family comes first
for him and I have seen him drop everything to help one of his own. My dad is a
quiet man but he loves to tell stories about how things were when he was younger.
He knows every shortcut in town and is almost always early for everything. He loves
to laugh and his blue eyes sparkle when he teases in his gentle way. He is slow to anger
but when he has reached his limit, watch out. His anger usually doesn't last long and
I have never know him to hold a grudge.
He has supported me when I need him and lets me go my own road. I know he is
always there for me. He may not say I love you with words very often, but his actions
speak of his love. He is the one I talk to when I hurt or need advice. No matter how
old I get, he will always be my Daddy. I love him more than mere words can say.
Without him, my world would be empty and cold. He is my compass and guiding
star. He restored my hope in men when I was scared and confused. He earned my
trust with his love and showed me that I could trust people. Dad showed me that life
is not for the weak and that sometimes hope is all you have. Even though life may
break my heart, my dad has shown me how to mend it. He has a quiet dignity that
speaks louder than words. I love him for all he has taught me with his life. I can only
hope that I can be a blessing to others, as he has been to me.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Ifs and Should Have Beens- Chapter 11
***Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of the characters from Merlin. I am
borrowing them for this story. This story is not for profit. It is for
entertainment purposes only. ***
Arthur paced his chambers in anger. He had greatly enjoyed his talk with King
Thomas. In truth, the man would make a powerful ally. Hopefully, at least one of
his Knights would make a match with one of King Thomas' daughters. All three
of them were lovely. Aurora and Gwaine had stayed close to each other ever
since Arthur had arrived. Grace and Percival seemed interested in each other.
Leon appeared to have charmed Charlotte. If things went well, soon there
would be three weddings. Arthur smiled to himself, happy with the thought of
three of his Knights make such perfect matches. None of the princesses were
likely to inherit the throne so his Knights would become princes when they wed.
Arthur knew Leon would choose to remain in his service. He could only hope
that Gwaine and Percival would choose to do so. Losing them would be a
horrible blow to Camelot but he would support their choice.
He gazed around the room. In the corner there was a tub full of water for
his bath. Steam still rose from the water. Arthur stirred the water with his finger,
testing the temperature. Not too hot, not too cold. It was just the way he liked
his bathwater. Now if only Merlin was here. He had no idea where his lazy
servant was but Merlin would hear about this when he showed up. A king
having to bathe himself. The idea was beyond imagining. Arthur quickly stripped
off his clothes and stepped into the tub. The warm water began to soothe his
stress away. He leaned back against the side of the tub, relishing one of the few
moments he had to himself. Ruling Camelot was much more work than he had
thought he would be. Arthur rarely had time do anything just for fun anymore.
There was always someone clamoring for his attention or some matter that had
to be decided at once. Thank goodness for Merlin. Arthur thought he would go
crazy without his servant's gentle nature and good humor to distract him.
Arthur finished bathing and stepped from the tub,grabbing a thick towel to dry
off with. He wrapped it around his waist and walked to his bed. Merlin had laid
his clothes for the banquet there. He had picked the red velvet outfit that he knew
Arthur was comfortable in. The fact that it was formal without being too fussy
made it one of Arthur's favorite outfits. It was easy to put on as well. A good
thing, seeing how Merlin was missing in action. Arthur began dressing, grumbling
to himself about lazy servants. His mind raced as he thought of clever punishments
for his errant servant. He was pulling on his boots as Merlin came racing through
the door. Arthur's jaw dropped as he took in the sight of his servant. Merlin was
dressed in a forest green velvet outfit cut very similar to his own outfit.
"What do you think you are wearing?" Arthur asked in a dangerous voice.
"Where did you get those clothes? I've seen your whole wardrobe and you don't
own anything as nice as that outfit. What is going on here, Merlin?"
"King Thomas' father Sir Samuel gave them to me," Merlin answered in a
voice filled with awe. "He invited me to the feast tonight and knew I wouldn't
have anything suitable. So he gave me this to wear. It used to belong to his
grandson but he didn't like it. He said the color made him look washed out.
Sir Samuel saw how nice it looked on me and told me to keep it. He even
said there may be some other things I could have. Isn't that nice of him?"
"Why would he invite you to the feast?" Arthur replied. "You are just a
servant. I didn't know you had even talked to King Samuel. Even if he has
turned to throne over to his son, he is still a king and should be addressed
properly. Remember that, Merlin. I won't have King Thomas think my servants
don't know their place. That reflects badly on me."
"He asked me to call him Sir Samuel," Merlin said in a wounded voice. "He
doesn't like being called King Samuel. His son is the king and it undermines
King Thomas when people call his father King Samuel. Or so Sir Samuel says.
I hope you know I would never do anything to make you look bad, Sire."
"I know that Merlin," Arthur replied. "But that doesn't tell me why he would
ask you to dine with us. Royalty rarely asks servants to dine with them."
"He come here looking for you and we got to talking," Merlin answered. "He
remembered Gaius from when he used to visit Camelot. He knows that King
Thomas and Prince William will likely spend the feast talking with you. Gwaine
and Aurora will be wrapped up in each other. Percival and Leon will be trying
to win Grace and Charlotte's hearts. That leaves him nobody to talk to. I guess
he just liked me. He's a very nice person and I wouldn't want him to be bored
while the rest of you talk to each other. But if you don't want me there, I'll go
and tell him I feel ill or something."
"No, better that he has someone to talk to," Arthur said with a wave of his
hand. "The rest of us will be busy. Just don't say anything embarrassing. You
have a way of speaking before you think. Now how do you think things are
going between the Knights and the princesses? How did things go after King
Thomas and I left? Any possible love matches?"
"Well, Gwaine and Aurora seem to be wonderfully matched," Merlin replied
hesitantly. "I'm not too sure about the others. Leon and Charlotte seem to be
getting along. Grace and Percival had a nice conversation also. I really can't
say if they like each other enough to marry. I'm sure you"ll see at the banquet.
Maybe you can tell better than I can. I don't have that much experience with
women. It is hard to tell what they are thinking. Shouldn't we be going?"
"Yes, we should," Arthur said as he walked to the door. "I don't know what
I was thinking asking you. A woman could walk by you naked and you would
not notice. I'll pay close attention tonight. Maybe there will be three weddings
soon. Won't that be wonderful, Merlin?"
"Lovely," Merlin answered as he followed Arthur from the room. "That
will be just perfect." Merlin lowered his voice. "But will it be the three couples
you think? And will you still be happy?"
Merlin closed the door and followed Arthur down the hall. He prayed that
the feast would go well. Who knew what was going to happen? He just hoped
Arthur wouldn't be too angry. And that he would still be alive when the dust
settled. This was going to be a long night.
borrowing them for this story. This story is not for profit. It is for
entertainment purposes only. ***
Arthur paced his chambers in anger. He had greatly enjoyed his talk with King
Thomas. In truth, the man would make a powerful ally. Hopefully, at least one of
his Knights would make a match with one of King Thomas' daughters. All three
of them were lovely. Aurora and Gwaine had stayed close to each other ever
since Arthur had arrived. Grace and Percival seemed interested in each other.
Leon appeared to have charmed Charlotte. If things went well, soon there
would be three weddings. Arthur smiled to himself, happy with the thought of
three of his Knights make such perfect matches. None of the princesses were
likely to inherit the throne so his Knights would become princes when they wed.
Arthur knew Leon would choose to remain in his service. He could only hope
that Gwaine and Percival would choose to do so. Losing them would be a
horrible blow to Camelot but he would support their choice.
He gazed around the room. In the corner there was a tub full of water for
his bath. Steam still rose from the water. Arthur stirred the water with his finger,
testing the temperature. Not too hot, not too cold. It was just the way he liked
his bathwater. Now if only Merlin was here. He had no idea where his lazy
servant was but Merlin would hear about this when he showed up. A king
having to bathe himself. The idea was beyond imagining. Arthur quickly stripped
off his clothes and stepped into the tub. The warm water began to soothe his
stress away. He leaned back against the side of the tub, relishing one of the few
moments he had to himself. Ruling Camelot was much more work than he had
thought he would be. Arthur rarely had time do anything just for fun anymore.
There was always someone clamoring for his attention or some matter that had
to be decided at once. Thank goodness for Merlin. Arthur thought he would go
crazy without his servant's gentle nature and good humor to distract him.
Arthur finished bathing and stepped from the tub,grabbing a thick towel to dry
off with. He wrapped it around his waist and walked to his bed. Merlin had laid
his clothes for the banquet there. He had picked the red velvet outfit that he knew
Arthur was comfortable in. The fact that it was formal without being too fussy
made it one of Arthur's favorite outfits. It was easy to put on as well. A good
thing, seeing how Merlin was missing in action. Arthur began dressing, grumbling
to himself about lazy servants. His mind raced as he thought of clever punishments
for his errant servant. He was pulling on his boots as Merlin came racing through
the door. Arthur's jaw dropped as he took in the sight of his servant. Merlin was
dressed in a forest green velvet outfit cut very similar to his own outfit.
"What do you think you are wearing?" Arthur asked in a dangerous voice.
"Where did you get those clothes? I've seen your whole wardrobe and you don't
own anything as nice as that outfit. What is going on here, Merlin?"
"King Thomas' father Sir Samuel gave them to me," Merlin answered in a
voice filled with awe. "He invited me to the feast tonight and knew I wouldn't
have anything suitable. So he gave me this to wear. It used to belong to his
grandson but he didn't like it. He said the color made him look washed out.
Sir Samuel saw how nice it looked on me and told me to keep it. He even
said there may be some other things I could have. Isn't that nice of him?"
"Why would he invite you to the feast?" Arthur replied. "You are just a
servant. I didn't know you had even talked to King Samuel. Even if he has
turned to throne over to his son, he is still a king and should be addressed
properly. Remember that, Merlin. I won't have King Thomas think my servants
don't know their place. That reflects badly on me."
"He asked me to call him Sir Samuel," Merlin said in a wounded voice. "He
doesn't like being called King Samuel. His son is the king and it undermines
King Thomas when people call his father King Samuel. Or so Sir Samuel says.
I hope you know I would never do anything to make you look bad, Sire."
"I know that Merlin," Arthur replied. "But that doesn't tell me why he would
ask you to dine with us. Royalty rarely asks servants to dine with them."
"He come here looking for you and we got to talking," Merlin answered. "He
remembered Gaius from when he used to visit Camelot. He knows that King
Thomas and Prince William will likely spend the feast talking with you. Gwaine
and Aurora will be wrapped up in each other. Percival and Leon will be trying
to win Grace and Charlotte's hearts. That leaves him nobody to talk to. I guess
he just liked me. He's a very nice person and I wouldn't want him to be bored
while the rest of you talk to each other. But if you don't want me there, I'll go
and tell him I feel ill or something."
"No, better that he has someone to talk to," Arthur said with a wave of his
hand. "The rest of us will be busy. Just don't say anything embarrassing. You
have a way of speaking before you think. Now how do you think things are
going between the Knights and the princesses? How did things go after King
Thomas and I left? Any possible love matches?"
"Well, Gwaine and Aurora seem to be wonderfully matched," Merlin replied
hesitantly. "I'm not too sure about the others. Leon and Charlotte seem to be
getting along. Grace and Percival had a nice conversation also. I really can't
say if they like each other enough to marry. I'm sure you"ll see at the banquet.
Maybe you can tell better than I can. I don't have that much experience with
women. It is hard to tell what they are thinking. Shouldn't we be going?"
"Yes, we should," Arthur said as he walked to the door. "I don't know what
I was thinking asking you. A woman could walk by you naked and you would
not notice. I'll pay close attention tonight. Maybe there will be three weddings
soon. Won't that be wonderful, Merlin?"
"Lovely," Merlin answered as he followed Arthur from the room. "That
will be just perfect." Merlin lowered his voice. "But will it be the three couples
you think? And will you still be happy?"
Merlin closed the door and followed Arthur down the hall. He prayed that
the feast would go well. Who knew what was going to happen? He just hoped
Arthur wouldn't be too angry. And that he would still be alive when the dust
settled. This was going to be a long night.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Ifs and Should Have Beens- Chapter 10
***Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of the Merlin characters. I am just
borrowing them. This story is for entertainment purposes only.***
Gwaine paused outside of Percival's room and took a deep breath. One
down, two to go. He had to hurry. The feast was starting soon and he still had
to find Merlin after talking with Percival. Then he would have to get changed.
He had too much to do and not enough time to do it all. He didn't know if he
would have time to talk to Merlin or not. He raised his hand to knock on the
door. Suddenly a hand grabbed his shoulder and he whirled around to see
Aurora's grandfather standing there.
"Easy Gwaine," Samuel said. "It is just me. Aurora sent me to tell you that I
have talked to Merlin. It is as she thought. Merlin and Grace like each other.
Charlotte likes Percival. Have you talked to Leon and Percival?"
"I just came from talking to Leon," Gwaine replied. "While he finds both
of the princesses charming, his heart already belongs to another. He will help
us however he can. I'm going to talk to Percival now. At least I don't have to
talk to Merlin. Anything else I need to know?"
"Just find Aurora when you are done," Samuel answered. "She wants to
know what you found out. And hurry, you don't have much time."
Samuel turned and hurried back down the hall. Gwaine shook his head
and turned to knock on the door. At Percival's muttered "Come in", he opened
the door and entered the room. Percival sat in a chair, looking out the window.
He was dressed for the feast and that reminded Gwaine of how little time he
had. He had to make this quick. He had a feeling this wouldn't be easy.
"So already dressed for the banquet," Gwaine observed. "Got your eye on
one of the princesses? Ready to charm her and sweep her off her feet? Which
one has caught your attention? Maybe I can nudge her in your direction."
"They are both very lovely," Percival said. "Charlotte appeared to be
charmed by Leon. I'm sure they will be very happy together. Maybe I can
win Grace's heart but she seemed to be more interested in Merlin. I doubt
her father would let her marry him though. And I know Arthur won't."
"Why would Arthur abject to Grace marrying Merlin?" Gwaine asked. "He's
marry Gwen and she's a servant. If anything he should understand and want to
help them. And if Merlin makes Grace happy I'm sure she can convince her
father to let them marry. Or Aurora will convince him."
"If it was anybody but Merlin, you would be right," Percival said. "But this
is Merlin we are talking about. Arthur is not going to let him go so easily. He is
very attached to Merlin. I mean, I like Merlin but he is not the best servant in
Camelot. Arthur could have replaced a million times but he hasn't. He likes
having Merlin around. Even if Merlin brings Grace back to Camelot with him,
he can't be Arthur's servant anymore. He'll be a prince. Princes do not serve
as servant to other princes. It is just not done. Arthur will not let that happen."
"You have a point,"Gwaine said thoughtfully. "Maybe Arthur could make
Merlin his advisor. Or maybe a knight. No, not a knight. Merlin would kill
himself with his own sword within a week. We'll figure something out. But
back to you. I thought Charlotte looked like she was more interested in you
than she was in Leon. He must have bored her because she kept looking in
your direction. She didn't look to happy that you were having fun with Grace.
And it seemed like you kept looking at her."
"But Leon is a great guy," Percival replied in a shocked voice. "How could
she not be charmed by him? He must have been having an off day. Leon can
get any girl he wants. Unless, he doesn't want either one of the princesses. It
must be Beth. He has been spending a lot of time with her lately. That old dog!
Very clever. But I don't see how he can't like Charlotte. She is sweet and
beautiful. Any man would be luck to have her."
"Then why don't you try to woo her?" Gwaine asked. "If you like her why
don't you try to win her heart? I know for a fact she likes you. And Leon's
heart belongs to Beth but don't tell anyone. He wants it to stay a secret."
"It isn't that big of a secret," Percival laughed. "Most of Camelot knows.
But I won't say anything. Knight's honor, I promise. And how do you know
Charlotte likes me? Has she said something to you. Wait, I know. Aurora.
Is there nothing she doesn't know? That woman is amazing. We could use
her as a spy. She doesn't miss anything."
"Well, her sisters are important to her," Gwaine replied. "There isn't
anything she won't do for them. Now do you like Charlotte or not?"
"I do like her," Percival admitted. "But I'm so much taller than her. I'm
scared I might hurt her. She is just so dainty and perfect. I fear I will
crush her. And then Aurora would kill me."
"That is the craziest thing I've ever heard," laughed Gwaine. "The children
of Camelot all adore you. You are their favorite knight. They climb all over
you and bug you constantly. But I have never seen you treat one of them
harshly or hurt them. If you can interact with those wild creatures without
harming them, sure you won't hurt Charlotte."
"But the feelings I have for Charlotte are different," Percival replied. "The
things I want to do with her are not the things you do with children. She makes
my pulse race and my heart beat faster. One kiss from her would be pure
heaven. I want grab her and ride far away from here. I want to pull her into
my room and never come out. I've never felt like this. Just the thought of
her drives me crazy. I love everything about her. The way she smells like fresh
cut grass and sunshine. The way her laughter sounds like bells chiming. Just
everything about her makes me want to make her mine."
"Yep, you've fallen hard," Gwaine replied. "Like I said, she likes you also.
I think it would be a shame for you not to see if she could be the one. She's
willing to try if you are. Believe me, you don't want to wind up wondering what
if. It will drive you crazy."
"Alright," Percival said. "But if this ends badly, I'm blaming you. You better
hurry. The banquet starts in an hour and you are not dressed for it. You don't
want to anger Aurora. She might cut off your head."
Gwaine left and hurried from the room. Closing the door behind him, he
almost ran over Aurora. Quickly, he told what he had found out. She clapped
her hand together in joy and sent Gwaine to his rooms to prepare for the feast.
She quickly vanished down the hallway. Gwaine shook his head in wonder.
Aurora may look lovely and sweet but she had the iron will of a commander.
The feast should be very interesting indeed.
borrowing them. This story is for entertainment purposes only.***
Gwaine paused outside of Percival's room and took a deep breath. One
down, two to go. He had to hurry. The feast was starting soon and he still had
to find Merlin after talking with Percival. Then he would have to get changed.
He had too much to do and not enough time to do it all. He didn't know if he
would have time to talk to Merlin or not. He raised his hand to knock on the
door. Suddenly a hand grabbed his shoulder and he whirled around to see
Aurora's grandfather standing there.
"Easy Gwaine," Samuel said. "It is just me. Aurora sent me to tell you that I
have talked to Merlin. It is as she thought. Merlin and Grace like each other.
Charlotte likes Percival. Have you talked to Leon and Percival?"
"I just came from talking to Leon," Gwaine replied. "While he finds both
of the princesses charming, his heart already belongs to another. He will help
us however he can. I'm going to talk to Percival now. At least I don't have to
talk to Merlin. Anything else I need to know?"
"Just find Aurora when you are done," Samuel answered. "She wants to
know what you found out. And hurry, you don't have much time."
Samuel turned and hurried back down the hall. Gwaine shook his head
and turned to knock on the door. At Percival's muttered "Come in", he opened
the door and entered the room. Percival sat in a chair, looking out the window.
He was dressed for the feast and that reminded Gwaine of how little time he
had. He had to make this quick. He had a feeling this wouldn't be easy.
"So already dressed for the banquet," Gwaine observed. "Got your eye on
one of the princesses? Ready to charm her and sweep her off her feet? Which
one has caught your attention? Maybe I can nudge her in your direction."
"They are both very lovely," Percival said. "Charlotte appeared to be
charmed by Leon. I'm sure they will be very happy together. Maybe I can
win Grace's heart but she seemed to be more interested in Merlin. I doubt
her father would let her marry him though. And I know Arthur won't."
"Why would Arthur abject to Grace marrying Merlin?" Gwaine asked. "He's
marry Gwen and she's a servant. If anything he should understand and want to
help them. And if Merlin makes Grace happy I'm sure she can convince her
father to let them marry. Or Aurora will convince him."
"If it was anybody but Merlin, you would be right," Percival said. "But this
is Merlin we are talking about. Arthur is not going to let him go so easily. He is
very attached to Merlin. I mean, I like Merlin but he is not the best servant in
Camelot. Arthur could have replaced a million times but he hasn't. He likes
having Merlin around. Even if Merlin brings Grace back to Camelot with him,
he can't be Arthur's servant anymore. He'll be a prince. Princes do not serve
as servant to other princes. It is just not done. Arthur will not let that happen."
"You have a point,"Gwaine said thoughtfully. "Maybe Arthur could make
Merlin his advisor. Or maybe a knight. No, not a knight. Merlin would kill
himself with his own sword within a week. We'll figure something out. But
back to you. I thought Charlotte looked like she was more interested in you
than she was in Leon. He must have bored her because she kept looking in
your direction. She didn't look to happy that you were having fun with Grace.
And it seemed like you kept looking at her."
"But Leon is a great guy," Percival replied in a shocked voice. "How could
she not be charmed by him? He must have been having an off day. Leon can
get any girl he wants. Unless, he doesn't want either one of the princesses. It
must be Beth. He has been spending a lot of time with her lately. That old dog!
Very clever. But I don't see how he can't like Charlotte. She is sweet and
beautiful. Any man would be luck to have her."
"Then why don't you try to woo her?" Gwaine asked. "If you like her why
don't you try to win her heart? I know for a fact she likes you. And Leon's
heart belongs to Beth but don't tell anyone. He wants it to stay a secret."
"It isn't that big of a secret," Percival laughed. "Most of Camelot knows.
But I won't say anything. Knight's honor, I promise. And how do you know
Charlotte likes me? Has she said something to you. Wait, I know. Aurora.
Is there nothing she doesn't know? That woman is amazing. We could use
her as a spy. She doesn't miss anything."
"Well, her sisters are important to her," Gwaine replied. "There isn't
anything she won't do for them. Now do you like Charlotte or not?"
"I do like her," Percival admitted. "But I'm so much taller than her. I'm
scared I might hurt her. She is just so dainty and perfect. I fear I will
crush her. And then Aurora would kill me."
"That is the craziest thing I've ever heard," laughed Gwaine. "The children
of Camelot all adore you. You are their favorite knight. They climb all over
you and bug you constantly. But I have never seen you treat one of them
harshly or hurt them. If you can interact with those wild creatures without
harming them, sure you won't hurt Charlotte."
"But the feelings I have for Charlotte are different," Percival replied. "The
things I want to do with her are not the things you do with children. She makes
my pulse race and my heart beat faster. One kiss from her would be pure
heaven. I want grab her and ride far away from here. I want to pull her into
my room and never come out. I've never felt like this. Just the thought of
her drives me crazy. I love everything about her. The way she smells like fresh
cut grass and sunshine. The way her laughter sounds like bells chiming. Just
everything about her makes me want to make her mine."
"Yep, you've fallen hard," Gwaine replied. "Like I said, she likes you also.
I think it would be a shame for you not to see if she could be the one. She's
willing to try if you are. Believe me, you don't want to wind up wondering what
if. It will drive you crazy."
"Alright," Percival said. "But if this ends badly, I'm blaming you. You better
hurry. The banquet starts in an hour and you are not dressed for it. You don't
want to anger Aurora. She might cut off your head."
Gwaine left and hurried from the room. Closing the door behind him, he
almost ran over Aurora. Quickly, he told what he had found out. She clapped
her hand together in joy and sent Gwaine to his rooms to prepare for the feast.
She quickly vanished down the hallway. Gwaine shook his head in wonder.
Aurora may look lovely and sweet but she had the iron will of a commander.
The feast should be very interesting indeed.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
To my Friend Bee For Her Birthday
I tried finding a card for my friend Bee for her Birthday. None of the cards I found
came close to saying all I wanted her to know. So this for Bee, one of the most
wonderful people I know.
Recently I opened a Twitter account. I was luck enough to find of the best group
of people you could ever hope to meet. I am proud to call myself a Merlinian. We
are fans of the BBC show Merlin and if you haven't seen it, you need to. It is one
of the best shows on TV. The fans of this show are some the funniest and most
caring people you will ever meet. They are one big family, the Merlin Family.
Bee is one of the first people I met when I joined the Merlin Family. She is caring,
funny, talented and just a lovely person. I am proud to call her my friend. I couldn't
know when I met her how much she would change my life. But she has changed
my life for the better just by being the wonderful person she is.
I credit Bee with being one of the people that helped start writing again. I used to
write all the time until life stole that joy from me. She helped ease me back into
writing. Bee was one of the first people to read this blog and encouraged me to
keep writing. She is an amazing writer herself. If I can be half the writer she is,
I will be happy. She also wouldn't let me chicken out of writing a story for one
of our favorite knight. Without Bee, Kidnapping Gwaine would never have seen
the light of day. So Eoin Macken, you have Bee to thank for that birthday gift.
She also never lets me give up on myself. Whenever I feel low or life starts to
get to me, I turn to Bee. She can always make me laugh. She also just lets me
vent and that's what a great friend will do. When I get knocked down, she
picks me up and pushes me back into the fray. She never lets me doubt
that I can handle whatever life throws at me. Bee is one of those rare people
that understands me. I can tell her something and not have to explain why I
feel the way I do. She just knows. A friend like that is worth more than gold.
Bee may not have the easiest life. In fact, sometimes I don't know how she
stands it. Even though life may knock her down, she gets back up and says,
"Is that all you got?" Nothing gets her down for long. Her humor is one of
the things I treasure most about her. She is is our "little bear", a true fighter.
Bee knows life is hard but she is not afraid to live. Her optimism is something
to behold.
If I had one wish, I wish all the goodness she sends out into the world would
come back to her a hundred fold. Then she could see what a difference she
makes to all of us. I hope this year brings her joy and peace. I hope she never
has to struggle for anything. I hope her book becomes a bestseller. I wish her
nothing but good things.
What I'm trying to say, dear Bee, is I am honored to know you. You are
a very special person to me. I can't quite put it into words, but I hope this
isn't too sappy. You make my life better by just being in the world. I hope
this year is wonderful. I don't see this as you getting a year older. I see this
as another year of being blessed by knowing you. Have a great birthday!
came close to saying all I wanted her to know. So this for Bee, one of the most
wonderful people I know.
Recently I opened a Twitter account. I was luck enough to find of the best group
of people you could ever hope to meet. I am proud to call myself a Merlinian. We
are fans of the BBC show Merlin and if you haven't seen it, you need to. It is one
of the best shows on TV. The fans of this show are some the funniest and most
caring people you will ever meet. They are one big family, the Merlin Family.
Bee is one of the first people I met when I joined the Merlin Family. She is caring,
funny, talented and just a lovely person. I am proud to call her my friend. I couldn't
know when I met her how much she would change my life. But she has changed
my life for the better just by being the wonderful person she is.
I credit Bee with being one of the people that helped start writing again. I used to
write all the time until life stole that joy from me. She helped ease me back into
writing. Bee was one of the first people to read this blog and encouraged me to
keep writing. She is an amazing writer herself. If I can be half the writer she is,
I will be happy. She also wouldn't let me chicken out of writing a story for one
of our favorite knight. Without Bee, Kidnapping Gwaine would never have seen
the light of day. So Eoin Macken, you have Bee to thank for that birthday gift.
She also never lets me give up on myself. Whenever I feel low or life starts to
get to me, I turn to Bee. She can always make me laugh. She also just lets me
vent and that's what a great friend will do. When I get knocked down, she
picks me up and pushes me back into the fray. She never lets me doubt
that I can handle whatever life throws at me. Bee is one of those rare people
that understands me. I can tell her something and not have to explain why I
feel the way I do. She just knows. A friend like that is worth more than gold.
Bee may not have the easiest life. In fact, sometimes I don't know how she
stands it. Even though life may knock her down, she gets back up and says,
"Is that all you got?" Nothing gets her down for long. Her humor is one of
the things I treasure most about her. She is is our "little bear", a true fighter.
Bee knows life is hard but she is not afraid to live. Her optimism is something
to behold.
If I had one wish, I wish all the goodness she sends out into the world would
come back to her a hundred fold. Then she could see what a difference she
makes to all of us. I hope this year brings her joy and peace. I hope she never
has to struggle for anything. I hope her book becomes a bestseller. I wish her
nothing but good things.
What I'm trying to say, dear Bee, is I am honored to know you. You are
a very special person to me. I can't quite put it into words, but I hope this
isn't too sappy. You make my life better by just being in the world. I hope
this year is wonderful. I don't see this as you getting a year older. I see this
as another year of being blessed by knowing you. Have a great birthday!
Ifs and Should Have Beens- Chapter 9
***Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of the Merlin characters. I am just
borrowing them. This story is for entertainment purposes only***
Gwaine knocked on Leon's door and tried to think of what he was going to
say. He hoped he wouldn't mess this up. Aurora had faith in him and he didn't
want to let her down. After waiting for several minutes, Gwaine poked his head
through the door. Leon was not in his room. Now what was he going to do? He
turned to head for Percival's room.
"Looking for me?" Leon asked with a smile. "You have that look again. What
is on your mind?"
"Just thought I see how you are," Gwaine replied. "See what you thought of
the princesses. So, either one of them catch your eye? They are both beautiful.
A man would be lucky to marry one of them."
"Both of them are beautiful," Leon answered. "They seem to be wonderful
girls. If Arthur wishes it, I'll marry either of them. Whatever Arthur wants."
"Way to be a team player," Gwaine smirked. "Arthur is lucky to have such
a loyal knight. But wouldn't you rather marry someone you loved?"
"Of course I would," Leon responded. "But if Arthur wants me to, I'll
marry Grace or Charlotte. They are both beautiful and I'm sure I'd come to
love them in time. I don't think they like me too much. I think I bore them."
"What is that about?" Gwaine asked. "I caught Charlotte hiding a yawn
several times while speaking to you. And Grace looked like she would rather
be in the stocks than talking to you. I've never met a woman you couldn't
charm. Were you trying to bore them to death? What are you up to?"
"Not really," Leon replied. "But if neither of them fall in love with me,
Arthur won't be forced to ask me to marry one of them. It is not my fault
if they find me dull. I admit I won't be heartbroken. I have no desire to be a
prince. I would much rather stay a knight. And maybe there is someone back
in Camelot I have my eye on."
"You old dog," Gwaine laughed. "Should have known you were making
yourself boring for a reason. Who is she? Let me guess. Beth from the tavern?"
"How do you know?" Leon asked. "We have tried to be careful and not let
anyone know. You won't let the others know?" Gwaine shook his head. "Good.
I don't want the other knights to tease her. I never meant to fall in love with her.
We just started talking one night. She is the most amazing woman I have ever
met. She has two young daughters and they are so sweet and adorable. Her
husband was killed in a freak rock slide accident. But he was horrible to her.
Always sneaking off to see other women. He was a horrible ogre of a man.
I would never treat her like that. I can't wait until we are done here and we
can go back to Camelot. I hate being away from her."
"I see," Gwaine replied. "In that case, I wonder if you'll help me with
something. It might make our stay here shorter. Then you can get back to
Camelot and Beth. I may need some help nudging Percival toward Charlotte.
I think they like each other but won't admit it. Would you help?"
"Anything for a fellow knight," Leon answered. "I think the same thing. It
may be the height problem. He does tower over her. Maybe he's afraid of
hurting her. He is a mountain of a man. Charlotte did keep glancing over at
him while we were talking. I think they would go good together."
"Let me go talk to him," Gwaine said. "I need to see if my hunch is right.
We'll see where to go from there. Not a word of this to anyone. Ok?"
Leon nodded, a huge smile on his face. Gwaine grinned back and walked
out the door. Now he had to find Percival. He hoped he was in his room.
The thought of another conversation in the hall was daunting. At least he
could sit in Percival's room. Time was passing quickly. He hurried down
the hall to Percival's room.
borrowing them. This story is for entertainment purposes only***
Gwaine knocked on Leon's door and tried to think of what he was going to
say. He hoped he wouldn't mess this up. Aurora had faith in him and he didn't
want to let her down. After waiting for several minutes, Gwaine poked his head
through the door. Leon was not in his room. Now what was he going to do? He
turned to head for Percival's room.
"Looking for me?" Leon asked with a smile. "You have that look again. What
is on your mind?"
"Just thought I see how you are," Gwaine replied. "See what you thought of
the princesses. So, either one of them catch your eye? They are both beautiful.
A man would be lucky to marry one of them."
"Both of them are beautiful," Leon answered. "They seem to be wonderful
girls. If Arthur wishes it, I'll marry either of them. Whatever Arthur wants."
"Way to be a team player," Gwaine smirked. "Arthur is lucky to have such
a loyal knight. But wouldn't you rather marry someone you loved?"
"Of course I would," Leon responded. "But if Arthur wants me to, I'll
marry Grace or Charlotte. They are both beautiful and I'm sure I'd come to
love them in time. I don't think they like me too much. I think I bore them."
"What is that about?" Gwaine asked. "I caught Charlotte hiding a yawn
several times while speaking to you. And Grace looked like she would rather
be in the stocks than talking to you. I've never met a woman you couldn't
charm. Were you trying to bore them to death? What are you up to?"
"Not really," Leon replied. "But if neither of them fall in love with me,
Arthur won't be forced to ask me to marry one of them. It is not my fault
if they find me dull. I admit I won't be heartbroken. I have no desire to be a
prince. I would much rather stay a knight. And maybe there is someone back
in Camelot I have my eye on."
"You old dog," Gwaine laughed. "Should have known you were making
yourself boring for a reason. Who is she? Let me guess. Beth from the tavern?"
"How do you know?" Leon asked. "We have tried to be careful and not let
anyone know. You won't let the others know?" Gwaine shook his head. "Good.
I don't want the other knights to tease her. I never meant to fall in love with her.
We just started talking one night. She is the most amazing woman I have ever
met. She has two young daughters and they are so sweet and adorable. Her
husband was killed in a freak rock slide accident. But he was horrible to her.
Always sneaking off to see other women. He was a horrible ogre of a man.
I would never treat her like that. I can't wait until we are done here and we
can go back to Camelot. I hate being away from her."
"I see," Gwaine replied. "In that case, I wonder if you'll help me with
something. It might make our stay here shorter. Then you can get back to
Camelot and Beth. I may need some help nudging Percival toward Charlotte.
I think they like each other but won't admit it. Would you help?"
"Anything for a fellow knight," Leon answered. "I think the same thing. It
may be the height problem. He does tower over her. Maybe he's afraid of
hurting her. He is a mountain of a man. Charlotte did keep glancing over at
him while we were talking. I think they would go good together."
"Let me go talk to him," Gwaine said. "I need to see if my hunch is right.
We'll see where to go from there. Not a word of this to anyone. Ok?"
Leon nodded, a huge smile on his face. Gwaine grinned back and walked
out the door. Now he had to find Percival. He hoped he was in his room.
The thought of another conversation in the hall was daunting. At least he
could sit in Percival's room. Time was passing quickly. He hurried down
the hall to Percival's room.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Ifs and Should Have Beens- Chapter 8
***Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of the Merlin characters. I am just
borrowing them. This story is for entertainment purposes only.***
Aurora's grandfather paced the hallway, pausing just outside the door to
Arthur's chambers. He knew that Arthur was still talking with Thomas. He also
knew that Merlin was in Arthur's room, preparing for supper. He had not missed
the spark that flew between the young servant and his eldest granddaughter. At
the time, he had thought nothing of it. After his talk with Aurora, he could think
of nothing else. Had it been magic calling to magic or just youthful hormones?
He had not been able to get close enough to Merlin to tell for sure. Magic had
been in the room but he had to be sure it belonged to Merlin. He did not have
much time. Arthur would be back soon to get ready for the feast. The old
gentleman knocked on the door and entered the room.
The current of magic in the room was strong. The person that wielded it
was a very strong wizard, possibly the strongest he had ever met. His eyes
searched the room, coming to rest on Merlin. The young man stood next to
the bed, laying out Arthur clothes. Merlin gazed back at him with a questioning
look in his eyes. So young to have so much power and ability to control it.
Pure and good, the magic flowed from Merlin in waves. The old man could
not believe he hadn't sensed it more fully before. Old age was dulling his senses.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important," Aurora's grandfather said.
Merlin shook his head. ""Good, good. I just came to see if you needed anything.
And to remind you that you will be treated as an equal at dinner tonight. You do
have something to wear, don't you?"
"But I'm just Arthur's servant," Merlin stammered. "I thought I would just eat
in the kitchen. I really don't have anything suitable to wear. I don't think it is wise
for me to dine with you. I have no idea how to act and I might do something
foolish. I wouldn't want to embarrass Arthur."
"Nonsense," the old man replied. "I'll send you something of William's to wear.
You seem to be about the same size. And you will be there as my guest. I'll
need someone to talk to. My son will be busy talking to Arthur. Aurora will be
busy with Gwaine. Grace and Charlotte will be talking to Percival and Leon.
That leaves William and as much as I love my grandson, he is a bore. All he
wants to talk about is baking and cooking. Or flowers and how to run the
castle. Make no mistake, he loves women. But he is just too much in touch with
his feminine side for me. Luckily, his future bride is very in touch with her masculine
side. A match made in heaven, those two. Unless you wish to talk to one of my
granddaughters? Grace perhaps?"
"It would be an honor to keep you company during dinner," Merlin answered.
"I'm not sure what we could talk about though. And as for your granddaughter, she
is lovely but out of my reach. I am merely a servant. A princess would never give
me a second look."
"I saw her give you more than a second look," the old man replied. "She gave
you many looks. And isn't your king's betrothed a maid? My son would not
object if she cared about you. He wants her to be happy. As for what we
could talk about, I have a few ideas. Such as how you manage to keep your
magic hidden from Arthur."
"I don't know what you are talking about," Merlin protested. "I don't have
magic. What a silly idea."
"You know what I am speaking of," the old man replied. "My name is Samuel.
I have magic and Grace has magic. I promise we will keep your secret. I risk
much by telling you this. Do you think I would if I just thought you had magic?
Your magic is the strongest I ever detected in another person. I would almost
say you could be Emrys."
"That is what the Druids call me," Merlin said as he sat in the chair beside the
bed. "How could you tell? I try so hard to keep it hidden. Arthur can't know!
Not yet. He has come so far. Just a little more time and he will lift the ban on
magic. But not yet. I can't get this close just to fail."
"Calm down Merlin," Samuel replied. "Your secret is safe with me. If I
tell Arthur I would have to admit I have magic also. The risk is great for me
also. Now, do you have feelings for Grace? If so, Aurora and I will help you.
Aurora has questioned Grace and she does have feelings for you. Where it
goes from here is up to you. Just know that you have friends to support you."
"I am attracted to her," Merlin admitted shyly. "She is beautiful and when
she smiles it is like the whole room brightens. The whole time she was talking
to Percival, I wished it was me she was talking to. I've never felt like this
about a woman before. I can't think of anything but her. I think I'm going
crazy. And I haven't even talked to her yet."
"I felt the same way when I first met her grandmother," Samuel replied with
a chuckle. "Love does that to you. When you met the other half of your soul,
it is like a bolt of lightening hits you. Your life will never be the same. You
have answered my questions. Leave the rest to me and Aurora. I'll send
someone with clothes for you. If Arthur has any questions, just send for
me. I must go find Aurora and arrange a few things. Be at peace, young
warlock. Things will work out for the best."
Merlin stared after the old man as he left the room. At the sound of the
door closing, he shook his head and rose to his feet. He still wasn't sure
what had just happened. Merlin felt he could trust Samuel with his secret.
One thing was sure, dinner was bound to be interesting.
borrowing them. This story is for entertainment purposes only.***
Aurora's grandfather paced the hallway, pausing just outside the door to
Arthur's chambers. He knew that Arthur was still talking with Thomas. He also
knew that Merlin was in Arthur's room, preparing for supper. He had not missed
the spark that flew between the young servant and his eldest granddaughter. At
the time, he had thought nothing of it. After his talk with Aurora, he could think
of nothing else. Had it been magic calling to magic or just youthful hormones?
He had not been able to get close enough to Merlin to tell for sure. Magic had
been in the room but he had to be sure it belonged to Merlin. He did not have
much time. Arthur would be back soon to get ready for the feast. The old
gentleman knocked on the door and entered the room.
The current of magic in the room was strong. The person that wielded it
was a very strong wizard, possibly the strongest he had ever met. His eyes
searched the room, coming to rest on Merlin. The young man stood next to
the bed, laying out Arthur clothes. Merlin gazed back at him with a questioning
look in his eyes. So young to have so much power and ability to control it.
Pure and good, the magic flowed from Merlin in waves. The old man could
not believe he hadn't sensed it more fully before. Old age was dulling his senses.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important," Aurora's grandfather said.
Merlin shook his head. ""Good, good. I just came to see if you needed anything.
And to remind you that you will be treated as an equal at dinner tonight. You do
have something to wear, don't you?"
"But I'm just Arthur's servant," Merlin stammered. "I thought I would just eat
in the kitchen. I really don't have anything suitable to wear. I don't think it is wise
for me to dine with you. I have no idea how to act and I might do something
foolish. I wouldn't want to embarrass Arthur."
"Nonsense," the old man replied. "I'll send you something of William's to wear.
You seem to be about the same size. And you will be there as my guest. I'll
need someone to talk to. My son will be busy talking to Arthur. Aurora will be
busy with Gwaine. Grace and Charlotte will be talking to Percival and Leon.
That leaves William and as much as I love my grandson, he is a bore. All he
wants to talk about is baking and cooking. Or flowers and how to run the
castle. Make no mistake, he loves women. But he is just too much in touch with
his feminine side for me. Luckily, his future bride is very in touch with her masculine
side. A match made in heaven, those two. Unless you wish to talk to one of my
granddaughters? Grace perhaps?"
"It would be an honor to keep you company during dinner," Merlin answered.
"I'm not sure what we could talk about though. And as for your granddaughter, she
is lovely but out of my reach. I am merely a servant. A princess would never give
me a second look."
"I saw her give you more than a second look," the old man replied. "She gave
you many looks. And isn't your king's betrothed a maid? My son would not
object if she cared about you. He wants her to be happy. As for what we
could talk about, I have a few ideas. Such as how you manage to keep your
magic hidden from Arthur."
"I don't know what you are talking about," Merlin protested. "I don't have
magic. What a silly idea."
"You know what I am speaking of," the old man replied. "My name is Samuel.
I have magic and Grace has magic. I promise we will keep your secret. I risk
much by telling you this. Do you think I would if I just thought you had magic?
Your magic is the strongest I ever detected in another person. I would almost
say you could be Emrys."
"That is what the Druids call me," Merlin said as he sat in the chair beside the
bed. "How could you tell? I try so hard to keep it hidden. Arthur can't know!
Not yet. He has come so far. Just a little more time and he will lift the ban on
magic. But not yet. I can't get this close just to fail."
"Calm down Merlin," Samuel replied. "Your secret is safe with me. If I
tell Arthur I would have to admit I have magic also. The risk is great for me
also. Now, do you have feelings for Grace? If so, Aurora and I will help you.
Aurora has questioned Grace and she does have feelings for you. Where it
goes from here is up to you. Just know that you have friends to support you."
"I am attracted to her," Merlin admitted shyly. "She is beautiful and when
she smiles it is like the whole room brightens. The whole time she was talking
to Percival, I wished it was me she was talking to. I've never felt like this
about a woman before. I can't think of anything but her. I think I'm going
crazy. And I haven't even talked to her yet."
"I felt the same way when I first met her grandmother," Samuel replied with
a chuckle. "Love does that to you. When you met the other half of your soul,
it is like a bolt of lightening hits you. Your life will never be the same. You
have answered my questions. Leave the rest to me and Aurora. I'll send
someone with clothes for you. If Arthur has any questions, just send for
me. I must go find Aurora and arrange a few things. Be at peace, young
warlock. Things will work out for the best."
Merlin stared after the old man as he left the room. At the sound of the
door closing, he shook his head and rose to his feet. He still wasn't sure
what had just happened. Merlin felt he could trust Samuel with his secret.
One thing was sure, dinner was bound to be interesting.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
If and Should Have Beens- Chapter 7
***Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters, I'm just borrowing them.
This story is for entertainment purposes only.***
Aurora knocked on Grace's door and waited for her sister to answer. As she
waited, Aurora thought about her two sisters. Their future happiness meant the
world to her. She was scared that they would let their loyalty to their father lead
them into marriage with the wrong men. Aurora didn't need Grace's magic to see
how her sisters felt about Leon,Percival and Merlin. Grace would never be happy
with Percival or Leon. A bit of her would die as she would have to hide an very
important part of who she was. Aurora couldn't be sure, but she thought Merlin
was a perfect match for Grace. If he didn't have magic, he at least didn't find
it evil or abhorrent. She would have to ask her grandfather to be sure. He could
always sense if someone had magic or not. As for Charlotte, she was clearly
attracted to Percival but wouldn't let herself admit it. Thinking Grace liked the
brawny knight, she would step aside and allow Leon to court her. That was
a disaster waiting to happen. Leon would never be able to control her feisty
sister. Percival was a much better match. Now if only she could get her sisters
to come to the same conclusion without them thinking she was meddling.
"Come in," Grace said gloomily. Aurora came through the door to find
both of her sisters sitting cross-legged on Grace's bed. This might be easier
than she had thought. From the solemn looks on their faces, Aurora sensed
that they had been talking about the knights. It shouldn't be too hard to
steer the conversation to how they felt and which man they liked. If they
were honest with her, that is. Luckily each had a tell that let Aurora know
when they were lying. Charlotte would twist her long hair around her finger
while Grace tended to tilt her head to the side and stare at the ground. Well,
time to find out if her hunches were right.
"So did either of you meet the love of your life today?" Aurora questioned
as she flopped on the bed. "Percival and Leon both seem like nice guys. But
if I wasn't already in love with Gwaine, I would go after Merlin. I always
have liked the tall, dark and handsome type. He just has an extra something
about him. I can't quite put my finger on it, but his eyes just draw you in."
"Tell me about it," Grace replied dreamily. "His eyes are amazing. And
his laugh is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. But I didn't notice him
that much. He is just a servant. Now Percival seems very nice. Tall, nice
looking, strong and manly." Grace tilted her head to the side and stared at
her bed covers. "Leon is nice but there is no spark. But Charlotte got
along nicely with him. Maybe there's a love match between them."
"Leon is very nice," Charlotte replied softly. "He is brave and sweet.
He is very loyal to Arthur and would be a wonderful husband. I think
that Percival and Grace make a lovely couple." She twisted her hair
around her finger thoughtfully. "I'm sure I would be very happy with
Leon. And Grace will be happy with Percival. And Father will be happy
that we are all happy."
"You both know that I know you are lying," Aurora replied. "Leon is
a very nice man but he will never make you happy, Charlotte. He's just
too normal and boring. I saw you glancing at Percival the whole time
you were talking to Leon. And he kept looking your way while he talked
to Grace. Grace, the look you and Merlin exchanged could have melted
every candle in the room. Why are the two of you hiding your feelings?
Do you want to be miserable for the rest of your lives?"
"Now just wait a minute," Charlotte said as she jumped to her feet.
"What gives you the right to tell us how we feel? We had everything
sorted out between us before you barged in here. I am going to marry
Leon and Grace will marry Percival. And we will all be very happy."
"I am your sister and I care about your happiness," Aurora retorted. "You
really think you'll be happy? The two of you just look overjoyed at what you
have decided. Grace looks like she about to throw up and you look like you're
about to cry. You look so happy."
"We are happy!" Charlotte screamed. "Grace is a better match for Percival.
I'm too short for him. So what if he's everything I've wanted in a man? He'll
soon get tired of having to bend down to talk to me. And how would it work
in the bedroom? He'll crush me. I'm better off with Leon."
"And I could never be with Merlin," Grace added quietly. He's a servant
and I am a princess. Father would never allow it. Percival is my best bet. But
if Charlotte likes him then I'll marry Leon."
"Well that's good for Charlotte," Aurora replied. "But what about you?
You deserve to be happy too. And Father won't care if Merlin is a servant
if you truly love him. He wants us all to be happy. Titles and land don't mean
that much to him. Our happiness is important to him. If we marry just to please
him, he won't be happy. Besides, the three of us combined can get him to agree
to anything. If you want Merlin, just say so."
"Are you sure?" Grace asked. "You know Father is when he gets angry. Heads
will roll and all. Merlin is so handsome and I think he may have magic. Of course
he has to hide it from Arthur. Wouldn't it be lovely if he did? I could share that
with him. I'd have to hide my magic from Leon or Percival. That would be simply
dreadful. I don't want to have to hide anything from my husband."
"If you want Merlin and he wants you, we shall make it so," Aurora said with
a chuckle. "Now Charlotte, Percival seems like a good bloke. He strikes me as
a gentle giant. If he likes you as much as you like him, there is nothing he won't
do for you. You could get him to walk on his knees for you. At least in private.
And I have a book that would help you in the bedroom. There are a lot of
things you can do together without getting crushed. Aunt Anna sent it to me
several years ago. Very interesting little book."
"If you say so," Charlotte replied. "But how do we make all of this happen?
We don't even know if Merlin and Percival feel the same way. We could be
planning all of this for nothing. Wait. You have Gwaine questioning them, don't
you? Aurora! How could you?"
"I want my sisters to as happy as I am," Aurora answered. "I can't question
them so I sent Gwaine. Don't worry, he will get answers. Now I need to go talk
to Grandfather. He can find out if Merlin has magic or not. I'll see you two at
dinner. Don't be late and be sure to look your best."
Aurora darted from the room to find her grandfather. Grace and Charlotte
began to get ready for dinner. Dresses were chosen and re chosen. Hairstyles
and jewels were examined and debated upon. Time flew in a rush. All the
while the two sisters chattered happily, confident their sister knew what she
was doing. They would follow where she led them.
waited, Aurora thought about her two sisters. Their future happiness meant the
world to her. She was scared that they would let their loyalty to their father lead
them into marriage with the wrong men. Aurora didn't need Grace's magic to see
how her sisters felt about Leon,Percival and Merlin. Grace would never be happy
with Percival or Leon. A bit of her would die as she would have to hide an very
important part of who she was. Aurora couldn't be sure, but she thought Merlin
was a perfect match for Grace. If he didn't have magic, he at least didn't find
it evil or abhorrent. She would have to ask her grandfather to be sure. He could
always sense if someone had magic or not. As for Charlotte, she was clearly
attracted to Percival but wouldn't let herself admit it. Thinking Grace liked the
brawny knight, she would step aside and allow Leon to court her. That was
a disaster waiting to happen. Leon would never be able to control her feisty
sister. Percival was a much better match. Now if only she could get her sisters
to come to the same conclusion without them thinking she was meddling.
"Come in," Grace said gloomily. Aurora came through the door to find
both of her sisters sitting cross-legged on Grace's bed. This might be easier
than she had thought. From the solemn looks on their faces, Aurora sensed
that they had been talking about the knights. It shouldn't be too hard to
steer the conversation to how they felt and which man they liked. If they
were honest with her, that is. Luckily each had a tell that let Aurora know
when they were lying. Charlotte would twist her long hair around her finger
while Grace tended to tilt her head to the side and stare at the ground. Well,
time to find out if her hunches were right.
"So did either of you meet the love of your life today?" Aurora questioned
as she flopped on the bed. "Percival and Leon both seem like nice guys. But
if I wasn't already in love with Gwaine, I would go after Merlin. I always
have liked the tall, dark and handsome type. He just has an extra something
about him. I can't quite put my finger on it, but his eyes just draw you in."
"Tell me about it," Grace replied dreamily. "His eyes are amazing. And
his laugh is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. But I didn't notice him
that much. He is just a servant. Now Percival seems very nice. Tall, nice
looking, strong and manly." Grace tilted her head to the side and stared at
her bed covers. "Leon is nice but there is no spark. But Charlotte got
along nicely with him. Maybe there's a love match between them."
"Leon is very nice," Charlotte replied softly. "He is brave and sweet.
He is very loyal to Arthur and would be a wonderful husband. I think
that Percival and Grace make a lovely couple." She twisted her hair
around her finger thoughtfully. "I'm sure I would be very happy with
Leon. And Grace will be happy with Percival. And Father will be happy
that we are all happy."
"You both know that I know you are lying," Aurora replied. "Leon is
a very nice man but he will never make you happy, Charlotte. He's just
too normal and boring. I saw you glancing at Percival the whole time
you were talking to Leon. And he kept looking your way while he talked
to Grace. Grace, the look you and Merlin exchanged could have melted
every candle in the room. Why are the two of you hiding your feelings?
Do you want to be miserable for the rest of your lives?"
"Now just wait a minute," Charlotte said as she jumped to her feet.
"What gives you the right to tell us how we feel? We had everything
sorted out between us before you barged in here. I am going to marry
Leon and Grace will marry Percival. And we will all be very happy."
"I am your sister and I care about your happiness," Aurora retorted. "You
really think you'll be happy? The two of you just look overjoyed at what you
have decided. Grace looks like she about to throw up and you look like you're
about to cry. You look so happy."
"We are happy!" Charlotte screamed. "Grace is a better match for Percival.
I'm too short for him. So what if he's everything I've wanted in a man? He'll
soon get tired of having to bend down to talk to me. And how would it work
in the bedroom? He'll crush me. I'm better off with Leon."
"And I could never be with Merlin," Grace added quietly. He's a servant
and I am a princess. Father would never allow it. Percival is my best bet. But
if Charlotte likes him then I'll marry Leon."
"Well that's good for Charlotte," Aurora replied. "But what about you?
You deserve to be happy too. And Father won't care if Merlin is a servant
if you truly love him. He wants us all to be happy. Titles and land don't mean
that much to him. Our happiness is important to him. If we marry just to please
him, he won't be happy. Besides, the three of us combined can get him to agree
to anything. If you want Merlin, just say so."
"Are you sure?" Grace asked. "You know Father is when he gets angry. Heads
will roll and all. Merlin is so handsome and I think he may have magic. Of course
he has to hide it from Arthur. Wouldn't it be lovely if he did? I could share that
with him. I'd have to hide my magic from Leon or Percival. That would be simply
dreadful. I don't want to have to hide anything from my husband."
"If you want Merlin and he wants you, we shall make it so," Aurora said with
a chuckle. "Now Charlotte, Percival seems like a good bloke. He strikes me as
a gentle giant. If he likes you as much as you like him, there is nothing he won't
do for you. You could get him to walk on his knees for you. At least in private.
And I have a book that would help you in the bedroom. There are a lot of
things you can do together without getting crushed. Aunt Anna sent it to me
several years ago. Very interesting little book."
"If you say so," Charlotte replied. "But how do we make all of this happen?
We don't even know if Merlin and Percival feel the same way. We could be
planning all of this for nothing. Wait. You have Gwaine questioning them, don't
you? Aurora! How could you?"
"I want my sisters to as happy as I am," Aurora answered. "I can't question
them so I sent Gwaine. Don't worry, he will get answers. Now I need to go talk
to Grandfather. He can find out if Merlin has magic or not. I'll see you two at
dinner. Don't be late and be sure to look your best."
Aurora darted from the room to find her grandfather. Grace and Charlotte
began to get ready for dinner. Dresses were chosen and re chosen. Hairstyles
and jewels were examined and debated upon. Time flew in a rush. All the
while the two sisters chattered happily, confident their sister knew what she
was doing. They would follow where she led them.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Ifs and Should Have Beens-Chapter 6
***Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of the Merlin characters. This story is for
entertainment purposes only.***
"King Arthur of Camelot," the guard announced in a booming voice as he waved Arthur
through the door to the throne room. "Sir Leon and Sir Percival, Knights of Camelot. And
Merlin, personal servant to King Arthur." With a low bow, the servant closed the door.
Arthur strode toward where King Thomas sat on his throne. Leon and Percival followed,
leaving Merlin to trail behind them. Merlin glanced at Gwaine, standing beside Aurora at
King Thomas' left side. To King Thomas' right stood a tall serious looking young man and
two beautiful young women. One had golden-brown hair and startling green eyes. The
taller of the two had long dark hair and a captivating smile. When Merlin glanced at her,
his heart almost stopped. He gazed into her sparkling blue eyes and it seemed as if time
had stopped. Her eyes reminded him of the pond he used to swim in when he was
younger. Merlin quickly looked away, not understanding how one glance could affect
him this way. He shook his head, trying to clear it of the thoughts running through it. She
was a princess. He could never hope to win her heart.
Grace smiled and tried to pay attention as her father introduced Arthur and his
knights to his family. But it was no use. Her mind would not focus on anyone but Merlin.
Her eyes searched for him, finally finding him standing beside Arthur. He smiled and it
was as if the room became brighter. He laughed at a joke her father told and it was the
most musical sound Grace had ever heard. Why was he having this effect on her? They
hadn't even talked, just shared one quick glance. She had never felt like this about any
man before. He wasn't even a knight, just Arthur's servant. A princess simply didn't have
these feelings. Grace turned her attention to Sir Percival and tried not think about Merlin.
Charlotte fought back a yawn as Sir Leon tried to impress her with tales of his knightly
adventures. He was handsome and nice, witty and brave. He was a loyal and brave knight
but he didn't make her heart skip a beat. As Sir Leon droned on, she looked over to find
her sister engaged in conversation with Sir Percival. Now there was a man. But why did
he have to be so tall? They would look ridiculous together. He would have to bend down
to hear her talk. He'd have to pick her up to kiss her. Grace was a much better match for
him. They seemed to be getting along wonderfully. Charlotte turned her focus to Sir Leon
but the thought of Percival kissing her brought a smile to her lips. She tried to banish the
image but it would not leave her mind. She struggled to gain control of her thoughts. She
smiled and leaned forward to ask Sir Leon a question, vainly trying to ignore Percival.
Percival nodded as Grace continued telling him a story about her childhood. She was
very beautiful and her eyes could stop a man right in his tracks. Her voice was pleasant
and she was all together lovely. She would make anyone a good wife. But there was
no spark, no attraction. He glanced over at Leon and Princess Charlotte. Her gentle
green eyes called to him, urging him to protect her from all of life's trials. She smiled
at Leon and Percival's heart sank, jealous that her smile hadn't been for him. He
wanted to ask Charlotte if she wanted to go from a walk in the gardens with him.
But she was laughing at something Leon had just said. She clearly enjoyed Leon's
company and Percival could blame her. Leon was brave and loyal, funny and smart.
He also didn't tower over her like a giant. They made a nice couple. He was happy
for his friend. Charlotte would be the perfect wife for him.
"Come Arthur," King Thomas said. "Bring Merlin and I shall show you to your
room. You have had a long journey and I'm sure you will want to wash up and
rest. Sir Gwaine can show his fellow knights to their rooms. After they are done
talking to my daughters that is." King Thomas threw an arm around Arthur and led
him from the room. Merlin shot one last longing look at Grace and followed behind
them. Merlin started to close the door, but King Thomas shook his head. He knew
what young ladies and handsome knights could do behind closed doors. The door
would stay open.
"What a mess this is," Aurora laughed as she studied her sisters and the two
knights. Gwaine raised a eyebrow and she laughed again. "When you told me about
Leon, Percival and Merlin I feared this would happen. Grace and Merlin are attracted
to each other but won't admit it because she is a princess and he is a servant. Charlotte
likes Percival but is scared that they look silly together. She thinks Grace likes him
so she'll step aside and let him court Grace. Percival likes Charlotte but thinks she
likes Leon so he'll let Leon court Charlotte. And none of them will say anything
because they don't want to hurt anyone. They will wind up married to the wrong people
if we don't managed to talk some sense into them."
"They seem to be happy," Gwaine replied. "Nothing seems wrong to me. I think
Leon will be a good match for Charlotte. Percival and Grace look like they are
getting along nicely. Everything looks fine to me."
"Men," Aurora said. "You think you are so smart but you miss so much. There
were so many secret glances and stolen looks in this room. Trust a man to miss them
all. Grace is just be polite but her mind is full of thoughts of Merlin. Charlotte thinks
Leon is nice but she really wants to talk to Percival. Percival would never stand in
the way of a fellow knight. And I think you could put any pretty girl in front of Leon
and he would be happy. How can you not see this?" Gwaine shrugged. "Are you
going to help me or not? I'll talk to my sisters. I need you to talk to Leon and Percival.
Please? I just want my sisters to be as happy as we are. And don't forget Merlin."
"You know that I'll do anything for you," Gwaine replied. "So I need to discreetly
ask them how they feel about your sisters. And then report back to you. I'll show them
to their rooms and start with Percival. I meet you in the garden before dinner and tell
you what I found out. Do I get anything for doing this or is this a mission of mercy?"
"I'll see after you talk to your boys," Aurora replied with a smile. "Sisters, I think
we should rest before dinner. Shall we retire to our rooms?"
Grace and Charlotte followed Aurora from the room. Aurora glanced back at
Gwaine and gave him a wink. Gwaine grinned and nodded his head. He turned back
and looked at Percival and Leon. Nothing seemed to be wrong but if Aurora said
something was wrong, it usually was.
"Come on boys," he said. "I'll show you where your rooms are. I'm sure you could
use some rest before dinner." Leon and Percival followed Gwaine from the room,
unaware of the questions soon to be asked. It was going to be a long day.
entertainment purposes only.***
"King Arthur of Camelot," the guard announced in a booming voice as he waved Arthur
through the door to the throne room. "Sir Leon and Sir Percival, Knights of Camelot. And
Merlin, personal servant to King Arthur." With a low bow, the servant closed the door.
Arthur strode toward where King Thomas sat on his throne. Leon and Percival followed,
leaving Merlin to trail behind them. Merlin glanced at Gwaine, standing beside Aurora at
King Thomas' left side. To King Thomas' right stood a tall serious looking young man and
two beautiful young women. One had golden-brown hair and startling green eyes. The
taller of the two had long dark hair and a captivating smile. When Merlin glanced at her,
his heart almost stopped. He gazed into her sparkling blue eyes and it seemed as if time
had stopped. Her eyes reminded him of the pond he used to swim in when he was
younger. Merlin quickly looked away, not understanding how one glance could affect
him this way. He shook his head, trying to clear it of the thoughts running through it. She
was a princess. He could never hope to win her heart.
Grace smiled and tried to pay attention as her father introduced Arthur and his
knights to his family. But it was no use. Her mind would not focus on anyone but Merlin.
Her eyes searched for him, finally finding him standing beside Arthur. He smiled and it
was as if the room became brighter. He laughed at a joke her father told and it was the
most musical sound Grace had ever heard. Why was he having this effect on her? They
hadn't even talked, just shared one quick glance. She had never felt like this about any
man before. He wasn't even a knight, just Arthur's servant. A princess simply didn't have
these feelings. Grace turned her attention to Sir Percival and tried not think about Merlin.
Charlotte fought back a yawn as Sir Leon tried to impress her with tales of his knightly
adventures. He was handsome and nice, witty and brave. He was a loyal and brave knight
but he didn't make her heart skip a beat. As Sir Leon droned on, she looked over to find
her sister engaged in conversation with Sir Percival. Now there was a man. But why did
he have to be so tall? They would look ridiculous together. He would have to bend down
to hear her talk. He'd have to pick her up to kiss her. Grace was a much better match for
him. They seemed to be getting along wonderfully. Charlotte turned her focus to Sir Leon
but the thought of Percival kissing her brought a smile to her lips. She tried to banish the
image but it would not leave her mind. She struggled to gain control of her thoughts. She
smiled and leaned forward to ask Sir Leon a question, vainly trying to ignore Percival.
Percival nodded as Grace continued telling him a story about her childhood. She was
very beautiful and her eyes could stop a man right in his tracks. Her voice was pleasant
and she was all together lovely. She would make anyone a good wife. But there was
no spark, no attraction. He glanced over at Leon and Princess Charlotte. Her gentle
green eyes called to him, urging him to protect her from all of life's trials. She smiled
at Leon and Percival's heart sank, jealous that her smile hadn't been for him. He
wanted to ask Charlotte if she wanted to go from a walk in the gardens with him.
But she was laughing at something Leon had just said. She clearly enjoyed Leon's
company and Percival could blame her. Leon was brave and loyal, funny and smart.
He also didn't tower over her like a giant. They made a nice couple. He was happy
for his friend. Charlotte would be the perfect wife for him.
"Come Arthur," King Thomas said. "Bring Merlin and I shall show you to your
room. You have had a long journey and I'm sure you will want to wash up and
rest. Sir Gwaine can show his fellow knights to their rooms. After they are done
talking to my daughters that is." King Thomas threw an arm around Arthur and led
him from the room. Merlin shot one last longing look at Grace and followed behind
them. Merlin started to close the door, but King Thomas shook his head. He knew
what young ladies and handsome knights could do behind closed doors. The door
would stay open.
"What a mess this is," Aurora laughed as she studied her sisters and the two
knights. Gwaine raised a eyebrow and she laughed again. "When you told me about
Leon, Percival and Merlin I feared this would happen. Grace and Merlin are attracted
to each other but won't admit it because she is a princess and he is a servant. Charlotte
likes Percival but is scared that they look silly together. She thinks Grace likes him
so she'll step aside and let him court Grace. Percival likes Charlotte but thinks she
likes Leon so he'll let Leon court Charlotte. And none of them will say anything
because they don't want to hurt anyone. They will wind up married to the wrong people
if we don't managed to talk some sense into them."
"They seem to be happy," Gwaine replied. "Nothing seems wrong to me. I think
Leon will be a good match for Charlotte. Percival and Grace look like they are
getting along nicely. Everything looks fine to me."
"Men," Aurora said. "You think you are so smart but you miss so much. There
were so many secret glances and stolen looks in this room. Trust a man to miss them
all. Grace is just be polite but her mind is full of thoughts of Merlin. Charlotte thinks
Leon is nice but she really wants to talk to Percival. Percival would never stand in
the way of a fellow knight. And I think you could put any pretty girl in front of Leon
and he would be happy. How can you not see this?" Gwaine shrugged. "Are you
going to help me or not? I'll talk to my sisters. I need you to talk to Leon and Percival.
Please? I just want my sisters to be as happy as we are. And don't forget Merlin."
"You know that I'll do anything for you," Gwaine replied. "So I need to discreetly
ask them how they feel about your sisters. And then report back to you. I'll show them
to their rooms and start with Percival. I meet you in the garden before dinner and tell
you what I found out. Do I get anything for doing this or is this a mission of mercy?"
"I'll see after you talk to your boys," Aurora replied with a smile. "Sisters, I think
we should rest before dinner. Shall we retire to our rooms?"
Grace and Charlotte followed Aurora from the room. Aurora glanced back at
Gwaine and gave him a wink. Gwaine grinned and nodded his head. He turned back
and looked at Percival and Leon. Nothing seemed to be wrong but if Aurora said
something was wrong, it usually was.
"Come on boys," he said. "I'll show you where your rooms are. I'm sure you could
use some rest before dinner." Leon and Percival followed Gwaine from the room,
unaware of the questions soon to be asked. It was going to be a long day.
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